


malecfanfic    viper   2017

by Malec_fanfic



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Criminals, Cop and Criminal, Forbidden Love, Gay, Gay Sex, M/M, criminal gang
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-11
Updated: 2019-01-11
Packaged: 2019-10-08 07:56:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 29,423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17382695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Malec_fanfic/pseuds/Malec_fanfic
Summary: (This started as a smutty oneshot I then continued)Alec, a cop, meets Magnus, the leader of a criminal gang called the Vipers, at the Police Office for the first time, where their passion just crashes into each other. Little does Alec know it will not be the last time for him and that, one day, he would even risk his life for Magnus.Note: This is a fanfic first posted on Instagram @malec_fanfic (now @angeldrw) in 2017, please excuse some mistakes I made back then. <3





	malecfanfic    viper   2017

Being a cop was great. As exciting as dangerous with lots of gunfights and girls that adored the heroes. AS IF! For months Alec had been busy with this huge criminal organization in Brooklyn, the police had been helpless for so long, but Alec had made it, he´d found out about their main hideout with tons of work, observations and searching at filthy places for filthy persons. He was the hero! Only one single mistake, he´d only forget the paper work for one single arrest and the criminal could nearly escape because of his lawyer. They had still the main hideout, but nevertheless the commissioner hadn´t allowed him to come with them to catch the whole group. The event Alec had waited for so long and now he was alone at the police station, waiting for his colleagues to come back with the arrested ones. “Fuck!” He cursed and threw his pen through the empty office. “Fuck, fuck fuck! It was all my fucking achievement!” It was already in the middle of the night when the first cops came back with the criminals, they would stay at the police station until they got their punishments and send to different prisons. The men were all handcuffed but grinning at him while they moved a lot, making it hard for Alec´s co-workers to push them forward. Commissioner Aldertree stood proudly in front of him as if it had been all his hard work. More and more people came in, then it was quiet for a long time. “Weren´t there more Sir?” Alec asked, because he knew, there was also a leader. “Yes. Maybe the rest makes some trouble, but the others will handle it.” The second he finished his sentence was the second the door slammed open and he heard a growling voice. “Helloooo!” The strength of three other men was needed to drag in Magnus Bane, leader of the vipers, most dangerous and wanted criminal in the city. He didn´t even try to kick the cops, he just refused to walk, so they had to carry him and he visibly enjoyed it. Alec recognized he held his breath, eyeing the guy up. All of they wore black clothes, only Bane had put on a deep green silk shirt with his tight leather trousers and boots. Even if the shirt was nearly useless, with so many open buttons which were exposing his muscular chest and a bunch of necklaces. As if the police had caught him while he´d had sex, more proofs were the blue hickeys at his neck and the swollen lips. Not even porn stars looked so obviously seductive and slinky, as if Bane was about to jump on the next living thing he saw.“Hey!” The growling voice again, Bane´s voice. Alec shrugged, looked up in his face and the light brown, nearly yellow eyes stabbed him. “Yes you! Hey guys,” Now he was talking with the men, which were holding him. “Why can´t this handsome dark-haired cop carry me, he looks a lot stronger than you ugly fuckers!”He shouted and licked his lips and all the other officers were starring at Alec. The door got opened again and another man was brought in. “Magnus!” “Oh Raph, boy, hope we get a cell next to each other!” Bane answered smirking and made clear gestures with his hips, probably the other man had been his partner. “No, surely not! Bring him to the single cell!” The commissioner ordered and Bane´s screams stopped. “Bye bye handsome.” Was the last thing Alec heart. “Here.” Aldertree gave him a huge stack of documents. “You have the night shift, so organize those reports of this mission.” Alec sighed, but too silent to be noticed. “Sure Sir.” “Good.” The commissioner nodded and left. “Hey, Lightwood!” Raj, another colleague, patted his shoulder and laughed: “Looks like this fag has a crush on you!” Thank god he didn´t know Alec was gay. “Haha, get lost.” “I will, because Aldertree allowed us to go after this successful mission! Much fun alone here!”////Alec cursed, maybe the fourth time within a few minutes, he couldn´t find the list with the found drugs from hideout, what meant that he had to go and copy the one from the warehouse for evidence. The way through the celldistrict was the shortest. “You really want to take this corridor?” Simon, one of his only friends at the office, looked up from his desk as Alec passed him. “I´ve never seen such intrusive criminals, as if they are sure that we will set them free tomorrow.” “We won´t, so, what can they do?” Ale answered and opened the door to the arrested people. “Hey guys, make some noise for our boss´s favorite cop!” The man called Raph cheered and the others joined his shouting. Alec just clenched his jaw and put his hand on the gun at his hips, for the improbable case they broke free. “Hey, cop, tell him I miss him!” Raph smirked before Alec slammed the door behind him.`Wrecked people´ He thought. Then he arrived the single cells, in front of them was the warehouse entrance. “Hey sod, I really gave up the hope I would see you again.” Bane was sitting on a small table in the cell and leaned against the grille, still wearing the handcuffs, so he had to brush with both hands through his black and green hair. The color matched his shirt. “Shut up!” “Not until you tape up my lips.” Bane grinned, while Alec was searching for the warehouse key. “Oh, and because we´re talking about tape and lips, anything from Raphael? It´s pitiful we aren´t together here.” “You´re ridiculous.” Alec finally turned around and the view flashed him again. “Why?” “Acting as if the world belongs to you, but in reality you are the one who´s finally trapped. It was quite stupid to come back to New York, you should have stayed in Asia or Europe.” He answered and leaned against the wall opposite the cell. “You think you know something about me?” Bane´s eyes lightened up. “I´ve studied you the last year, I am the reason why we got you.” Alec smiled, because he thought he would have an advantage now. “Wow, then I should congratulate you, right? If I´m your biggest success. Sadly it will fade away.” “What are you talking about?” “Oh, you really think I´m the best criminal, because anybody can catch me?” Bane´s grin nearly plopped out of his face as he waved with the open handcuffs.“Fuck.” Alec was an officer, he had to chain him again. “Son of a bitch.” Alec murmured and took his gun. “Magnus Bane, show me your back, hands up against the grille! I´m coming in now!” “Oh you don´t know how much I wanted to hear those words from your filthy mouth.” Bane smirked and got up to do what he´d said. “What?” “Oh come on officer…Lightwood.” He read from his nameplate.“You´re so gay I can nearly smell it, as if you´re begging for it to notice.” Alec got red and he hated it. “I have to remember you, I have a gun and will use it if you show any resistance.”“No worries, I´ll be good, at least for a minute.” He answered and grabbed the grille for what he had to bend forward and reach out his ass, because the table was still between him and the wall, intentionally.Gulping, Alec came in after he´d opened and grabbed his arm, whereupon his hip touched Magnus from behind and his heavy perfume hit him. It crashed his mind into foggy darkness for a few seconds, but long enough for Magnus to turn around and sit on the table. “Here, come, tie me up!” He gave him the handcuffs and Alec was a bit confused, but took them and demanded with his, a little broken, cop voice: “H-hands over your head!” “Sure.” He leaned back, so Alec had to lean further forward to get him. He already stood between his parted legs, but now their faces were only few millimeters away. `He wears eyeliner around those golden eyes.´ rushed through Alec´s head, the only thing in his head, because his blood was at a different place at the moment. “What to do now?” Magnus asked frozen Alec, who only concentrated on his full, peachy lips. “Are you really that risky? Fucking an arrested criminal? I don´t think so.” “Shut the fuck up!” Alec let the handcuffs click around his left wrist and the lattice bars, then crushed their lips together. They were as soft as imagined, but he also wondered who had kissed them before. Magnus immediately replied the kiss and slipped his nimbly tongue in his mouth without asking for permission. In return, Alec grabbed him by this broad silvery belt aroundthose damn tight trousers and pushed him back, but Magnus just smiled mischievously while biting and sucking on Alec´s lower lip, he was hungry. It somehow surprisedAlec how ready Magnus was to give his body to him, but it didn´t scare him away, it made him horny. He deepened the kiss and put one hand at his back of neck, while Magnus brushed trough his dark hair.His movements felt so good, Alec didn´t notice how Magnus slid his free hand along his waist, found his gun and took it immediately. He only came to his senses when the cold metal touched his chest. Shocked, he stopped, stumbled back and raised his arms. “Hey, y-you don´t have to do this!” He stuttered and looked at the weapon that pointed at him. He was the worst cop ever, holy shit.“Oh really? What if I want to do this? It would be nothing special, you´re not the first one I kill, I think not even the first officer, but I shouldn´t tell you too much, right?” Alec panted heavily, nobody prepared him for a situation like this, nothing prepared him for his dumbness. “Magnus what should I do? Let you go? I will!” Magnus smiled even more hearing his first name. He also enjoyed the control the weapon and Alec´s submissiveness gave him. “Well, this would be too easy for me. But it´s your luck I like guys in uniforms.” Magnus released the safety catch clicking with one thumb, looked at it, then pointed with it at himself as if he wanted to shoot himself. Alec got even more startled. “Nonono Magnus please stop it!” Magnus didn´t listen, just kept holding eye contact with him, while he took the barrel of the gun in his mouth. He didn´t pull the trigger yet, instead he started to twist his tongue pleasurable around the tip and sucked softly on it. Soon he let hear little moans and put it in and out faster with a distorted, seductive gaze. Alec didn´t know what to do, he wanted to stop and flog him hardly, but he could only stare at this sick sin and recognized how much it turned him on. “Like what you see?” “You´re a pervert mess.” “So you do?” Alec ignored the danger of the loaded weapon, just grabbed it, took it out of his mouth and threw it in one corner. He replaced it with his lips and tasted the metal. “Disgusting.” Alec murmured and Magnus smiled again and started to unbutton his uniform to roam his free hand over the hairy chest. “You´re way too hard to be this disgusted.”Quickly Alec had freed him from the anyways half open shirt and looked now at the snake tattoo at his abs, around his stomach and waist. It was shiny green and yellow and looked scary natural. “Surprised?” Magnus giggled. “You know, I´m the leader of the vipers, what did you expect? Come here.” Alec just sighed and kissed down his neck, carefully, not to leave any marks that could prove what was happening. “Want you.” He gasped. Magnus smiled and had to moan when Alec hit a weak spot. “I know.”With one hand, he couldn´t open the leather pants, so Alec helped him and dragged them down together with his panties made of suggestive black lace.The tail of the snake ran over his hips down to his tights and ended above his knee. Smirking Alec saw how hard he´d made him, at least one thing he couldn´t control. He took his cock and stroked gently up and down, while he went on kissing him, until Alec slipped two fingers in his mouth and let Magnus suck on them. “Why, why are you doing this?” Magnus asked once they were out again. “I need wetness to prepare you silly.” “Oh no, you won´t put you fingers inside me!” He pushed his arm back, then tried to prepare himself on the table. “Bad luck. Beside you are Magnus Bane, I bet there were worse things inside you.” Alec replied, surprised about his own words, and turned him around grabbing his hips, it was easy because Magnus couldn´t really defeat him with one hand. “Hey, what are you doing?!” He hissed as Alec took his other hand and cuffed it too above his head. “Quiet. I´m the cop and you´re the prisoner, forgot? Safe word?” Alec breathed against his ear and Magnus turned his hed as far as possible to kiss him.“Never needed one.” “Then it´s on your own risk.” Alec whispered and slowly kissed down his spine. Magnus had this special smell and taste, sweet and smoky and so addictive, Alec couldn´t get enough. His hands explored Magnus´ body, forbidden territory for him, but the time he´d cared was over. He´d locked so much anger inside of him, because of Aldertree, because of this nasty criminal that provoked him with every wink, this all burst out in aggressive sexual frustration. Magnus was on his knees, defenseless served on the table, his muscular back facing Alec, who´s trousers got already tight only because of this view. He could do what he wanted with him, Magnus couldn´t fight him and nobody else could hear them, because the walls were thick so the persons in the single cells couldn´t talk with the others. “Don´t you dare putting your fingers inside me, I´m warning you!”His voice was still imperious and he rattled the handcuffs against the grille.“You don´t have the position to decide this!” Alec bent down and tore his legs apart, then sank his tongue in his entrance. Magnus twitched, whimpered loudly and tried to kick him, but Alec´s big hands held his tights in position. “Arghh, holy…” Alec licked harder and pushed his tongue together with his fingers in. Magnus moved and winded under him, but Alec´s grip was strong, just as the stretching and soon Magnus could only moan. “Fuck…umhhh…let…g-go…” He panted heavily and threw his head back, especially when Alec took his member again. For the first time Magnus wasn´t able to scold anymore, those touches made him crazy, he wanted more and more.After Alec had opened him enough, he unbuckled his own pants and dragged them half ways down, it was a relive to finally free his hard bulge. “Use condoms, would you?” Luckily Alec had one in his purse and opened it. “Sure, why suddenly so polite?” “Well, like this, I couldn´t change it if you do it rare.” “I´m not such a man.” Alec twisted his fingers one last time, then entered him in one trust, grabbing his waist and pushing quickly in. “Oh god!”Magnus´ breath got knocked out of his lungs, he screamed restrainedand felt how Alec left his rage and lust to him with every trust, he couldn´t remember when he´d received this much pleasure the last time, but he didn´t let Alec hear how much he liked it. He wouldn´t disgrace himself, all his noises were uncontrolled.Helpless moaning Magnus held at the lattice bars, leaned his hot forehead against the cold iron and let Alec fuck him from behind. He wanted to touch himself so badly, but like this, he could only tug on his chainsand order Alec to do it. “Touch me! Shit, come on!” “Beg for it.” Alec answered with another trust that obscured his senses and made the table crack. “Oh you wish!” Magnus hissed through clenched teeth, while he had to move together with Alec, because he held his waist tightly. Alec bent down and kissed and bit his neck, he didn´t care anymore if the hickeys were visible after, but his movements got slower, he was as close as Magnus.Nevertheless, he wanted to make him cum first, he wanted to be tougher, so he stroked his dick tightly with thumb on the head, too much for Magnus.He purred and arched his back like a cat in heat before he cramped at his climax and fell limp in the handcuffs, while Alec trust in one last time and came too. “You look even more ridiculous after.” He laughed after he´d pulled out quickly and zipped up his trousers, hiding how good it had felt for him. “I´m sorry, someone fucked me a few seconds before. Thanks to you I got what I wanted.” Magnus´ smirk was back, even if he looked really exhausted and less powerful with his hands fixed over his head. Well, less powerful, but not less beautiful. He was a criminal, but his caramel skin was as smooth as the one of a prince and he looked so innocent and young. Alec started to regret that he hadn´t paid more attention to this delicious skin, preferably he would go for the second round to get more of this insane man.“What are you waiting for? Free me! If not they will asked why I´m naked and I will tell them every little detail.” Alec took his keys and opened the chains. Magnus´ wrists were sore and red and even bloody at some spots, Alec felt a little sorry. Police handcuffs were just not made for what they´d used them for.“What?” Magnus had noticed his gaze on his body while he was putting on his clothes. “You don´t have to feel guilty for those marks, I´ve already looked worse after sex.” Obviously nothing could destroy his arrogance, it made Alec furious, just as the idea of other men sleeping with Magnus. “Hope you have as much fun in prison as here.” “How cute, you still believe I would arrive there.” “You will.” Alec said and left after he´d picked up his gun and locked him again. Seeing him was just too much for the moment.His mind rotated and his whole body was fuzzy when he sat down on his desk again, still panting. Magnus felt like a foggy dream, he hadn´t really done such things, had he? The other question, what had Magnus Bane done to him? It was so fucking ridiculous, but he felt much better now, his anger had faded away and was replaced with Magnus in his mind. His spell had seduced him, his poison rushed through Alec´s veins. Nobody before had Alec allowed to be so free and passionate, he already suffered to see him again. Oh god…, but he would fix this mess as much as he could. He surely wouldn’t see him again.///// Two days later Alec received the message Magnus Bane and nearly his whole crew could escape while their transport to the prison, two officers got killed. A huge shock for the whole police station, but to be honest, Alec had expected something like this. Magnus was so sly, of course he didn´t let them catch him for too long, insteadhe slipped through their fingers like his silk shirt or the snake around his waist and Brooklyn had his most dangerous criminal back. The one who could even seduce a police officer with his offensive sex appeal. Alec sighed. The whole hunt would start from the beginning again, but what would he do when he had him back? Sleep with him again? Maybe then Magnus would really shoot him, he´d been already close this time. Why had Alec been so fucking dumb? When he looked at his gun, he still saw Magnus´ wet lips around it, sucking, while his golden eyes were captivating him. Oh god. He arrived at his flat and it was already very late, because Aldertree had forced him to join a long crisis meeting. He just wanted to get into his sleeping things and watch TV with a glass of wine. But then there was this ring at the end of the third episode of his favorite show. It was not in the TV. It was Alec´s own doorbell.Hesitating he got up, opened at the second ring and the perfume hit him before the view. Sweet and smoky, a living sin.“Hey cop.” Magnus leaned smirking in the doorframe, playing with his necklaces, fated red strains around his wrists. “Missed me?” 

///////// NOW THE MAIN FANFICTION STARTS //////////

“Please tell me you will bring him back, tell me you will bring Raph back to me.” Simon whispered into his chest and Magnus pressed him even tighter into the embrace. “Shhh…I will Simon, promise.” “You´ve already promised this time.” He replied numb. “And I keep it, I always do, right?” “Until now.” “See, you know I would give my life for his, freeing him is not even as impossible as robbing the national bank and we did, remember?” “Y-yes.” “So we will do this again, look, I brought your colleague.” Magnus pointed at Alec, who felt immediately trapped. “Oh, hey, Alec.” Simon sniffed and quickly wiped away his tears with shaking hands, trying to smile away the fact that he´d lied to him, but it looked pained. “H-how did you get in here?” `I had sex with your boss and now he blackmails me.´ Those words lay on his tongue. “He will help us with Raphael.” Magnus stroked up and down his back to comfort him more and Simon´s eyes got huge, just as Alec´s. “No! Doesn´t matter what it is, I´ll go now!” It was too much for him, it actually already had been when Magnus had appeared, but now it really was enough. He didn´t want to get forced into this criminal entanglement, he´d nothing to do with any of this people there and he surely didn´t want to. That Lewis, this pure kind man, got already so badly influenced, was not a very good sign, Alec didn´t want to imagine what they´d done to him and why he was so emotional obsessed with this Raphael. He just felt sorry for him, that´s why he fled back into the elevator and pressed the ground floor button, slightly panicking. “No, wait,” Magnus squeezed Simon´s hand and gave him a soothing look, than slipped into the lift, right before the doors closed. “Magnus, leave me alone, let me go!” “Alexander please, you gave me no time to explain yet.” Magnus just pressed any button to stop them, too late to realize it was the floor with his bedroom. “You couldn´t change anything, I will tell the police right now what happened, before you have any chance to lie your story!” Alec stormed out of the lift, didn´t matter where he was right now, he just wanted to bring as much distance between them as possible. “Please, just words, just an attempt to explain, let me try it!” He followed him until they stood right in front of the broad mattress Magnus had put next to the window wall, so the skyline were the last thing he saw every time he went to bed. Alec wasn’t less embarrassed being there. “Wait.” He raised his hands to his body, but without touching him and then Alec had to gulp hardly, when Magnus opened his trousers. Silent, he dragged them down to his knees and exposed boxers and a holder with his gun. He unfixed it and pressed it into Alec´s hands, before he got fully dressed again. “Here, no knives, no guns or whatever, just me, ok? You can go after, I won´t hinder you, but please don´t interrupt me.” “Fine.” Alec licked nervous over his lips and starred outside the window, it didn´t feel right to eye up Magnus´ personal things. “We´re criminals, yes, but we only take from the arrogant ones that are not worth it, you should know you can´t get this rich if you stay legal. We survive and we give others who need to survive, too. We never made real problems, but the police belongs to the city and the city belongs to this stinking rich ones. Some time they freaked out and started killing under our names, they gave us this reputation until we had to arm ourselves to protect us! This was not our choice and my family doesn´t deserve this, Raph doesn´t!” “He does, you all do! You always have a choice Magnus.” “No. Life´s just not fair! Don´t be so naive.” Alec snorted disdainfully, but he continued. “Haven´t you seen Simon? You know him, he´s good and kind, didn´t you see how he´s suffering?” “Why does he act like this?” “Because he loves Raph. Simon came to us because of him and we have him with us since then. Alexander I fucked up and Raph is still there, Simon won´t be able to take it if something happens to him, he´s already nearly broken now.” “He should have known better.” Alec turned away from him, further to the window. “I-I have an offer. If you help us freeing him, you can have me. You can arrest me and bring me to jail, you will get the boss for just a member. Isn´t it a good exchange? I swear I won´t fight or try to escape, as long as my loved ones are save.”////Alec reacted to Magnus´ pitiful voice, he knew he said the truth, he begged. The bid was indeed not that bad, if he would stay with his words. Alec was stuck into this organization, maybe it was a way to come out with a nice bonus. “Are those people really worth it? You´d never get out again.” “That´s not your thing. Deal?” Magnus asked desperate, but steadfast. “I don´t trust you.” “You don´t have to. I think it´s enough for you to know I would do everything for my family. Alexander please, then you won´t meet us ever again.” “Good.” “Good?” Magnus´ serious face lightened up a bit. “Yes. I´ll do what you want if you´re really in prison then, there where you should be.” “Thank you so much.” “No need to thank! We have an agreement, nothing more.” “Yea, sure.” Both of them were thinking about their first meeting, Magnus was comparing this Alec with the one in front of him. He wasn´t this cocky and passionate anymore, just cold and callous, erasing every little flame that had been between them. Magnus could understand him. Nobody with a clear mind would want to have anything to do with him, nobody could endure a relationship with him very long. It was too complicated, too risky, for normal people and even for other criminals, Magnus had tried it. That was why he knew it wasn´t because of his life, it was because of his personality. “You can stay here for the night, if it´s too late for you to go home now.” “N-no, no way, bring me home, now!” “I will Simon ask to drive you, then he has something to do and you can…uhm…talk.” ///// “So you will refuse talking to me forever?” “Lewis I can´t see anything with that blindfold and you are a fucking criminal, just bring me home and shut the fuck up!” “I´m sorry.” Simon was close to sniffing again, but he took a deep breath and tried to relax. Raph was ok, they were soulmates, he would surely feel if he was hurt too badly.“That excuse is a little late.” Alec hissed. “Well, nevertheless, thank you for helping.” “I don´t do this because I feel any sympathy for you, Magnus offered himself for Raphael, he will let me bring him to jail.” “What?! N-no Alec you can´t do this!” “I will, that´s the deal!” “But…we´re helpless without him, I was. I-I fell in love with Raph, I didn´t plan him, nor did he. Magnus wasn´t angry or anything, he treated me like one of his crew, he let me be with Raph. And it was my own decision to tell him what we found out about them at work, Magnus or Raph didn´t force me to do so.” Simon just talked to hold down his sobs. “You betrayed the whole police station, you did everything against the honor of an officer.” “Our police has no honor anymore. I´m sure he told you and you didn´t believe him, but the Vipers are not completely bad, they are no killers. Magnus does everything to care for us, he always says we´re his family, but the truth is, we need him more, without him we would just be a group of strangers. I love Raph with everything I can give and I know he loves me too, but sometimes not even I can help him, when…things got worse. But Magnus can, he´s like a father for him, for him, Maia, Meliorn and all the other´s. You will see that, too.” Alec stayed silent. He didn´t know anymore what he should think, there were so many types of Magnus. Father, killer, lover, victim, and they were not compatible with each other, a man with hundred seals.////Alec got undressed and took a shower. He´d already done after his work earlier that day, but he wanted to clear body and mind, washing those thoughts and memories away. He didn´t want to remember what he´d agreed to, he wanted to fall into his bed and then wake up, refreshed and aware of nothing anymore. Magnus. Always this man who floated through his head, he was sick of it.///// “Do you think it was a good idea?” Simon askedlaying on a couch, with his head on Magnus´ lap while Magnus softly stroked through his hazel hair. Simon couldn´t be alone right now and Magnus wouldn´t let him either. “He was so furious, I wasn´t able to have a normal conversation with him.” “Yea…you acted different, when you found out about Raph and me.” “I was pretty upset, too, but more because I was anxious you two had something in common. I just love him so much Magnus…but I don´t want you to leave us. What should we do without you?” He sat up and looked at him with glassy eyes. “I don´t want to be the reason why you get hurt.” “I am the reason why we are in this trouble, I was wanton and so bloody stupid, I´ll be ok and you will too. I´ll give the control to Raphael and Maia. They are more responsible than I was. Main thing you two will be happy, ok?” “You give us too much.” “You give me more.” They sat there together in silence, watching the lights of the city outside, but without letting go of each other. “You like Alexander, don´t you? You don´t bring people you don´t like here, doesn´t matter if they´re very helpful or something else.” “That´s not important. Whatever I was thinking, he hates me so much. He looks at me with disgust in his eyes and whenever I´m in the same room with him, he gets stiff like an animal that is about to attack.” Magnus pinched his eyes to chase away the picture of Alec that was building up in his head.“That´s just because he´s scared, he doesn´t knows you yet.” “We had sex, I think he knows me well enough to reject me.” “Don´t think so.” Simon leaned onto him and patted his arm. “Don´t be so hard to yourself.” Magnus just mumbled something, then said: “I-I´ll go to bed now, you should catch some sleep as well, but don´t hesitate waking me up if something´s wrong or if you´re not doing well.” “Thank you, good night.” Magnus took the elevator back to his part of the building and let his body drop on the mattress. He felt as if a trace of Alec´s smell was still in the air, from the minutes he´d been standing there and looking at him slighting. The tears came by themselves, just kept escaping and running down right and left over his temples. `Why, stop, you fucking fool, stop this weakness.´ He quietly yelled at himself, but he couldn´t, his body was trembling and shaking until he fell in a deep sleep. `You´re so weak.´////Following day Simon picked Alec up again and brought him back to the skyscraper, it was his day off and Magus wanted to get this thing done as fast as possible. Before Raph could do something thoughtless for what he got send to a better protected area of the prison. They were sitting at some couches at the main hall, the crew, Simon, Magnus and Alec with a ridiculous huge distance to Magnus, basically all the others were between them. Magnus acted as if he didn´t care, as if he didn´t even notice, because, he did. For hours they were discussing, but Alec stayed quiet and watched. They had everything, plans of the building, the working and changing times of the staff there, access to the cameras in the corridors, the red haired girl was typing the whole time. Nevertheless, somehow every plan had a weak spot, every time they would get caught, until Alec joined their conversation. “I think we should do it different.” Magnus, who hadn´t really hoped for input anymore, lifted and eyebrow, but let him talk. “We don´t need to distract them with something like a fire alarm, we have you. You get in, he gets out, a quick exchange.” The Vipers flinched and looked worried from one to the other, they´d heard of such an agreement, but actually didn´t expect that they would really do it, but Magnus let him continue. “Yes?” “Raphael´s transport to the court is the day after tomorrow. When he´s at the exit, I´ll go in with you in handcuffs and I will say I got you and didn´t want to drive with you too the police station, because it would be better when you´re in a real cell. You´ll make some trouble, maybe you manage to bring a weapon or something in, the staff will have to help me and in the chaos Raph escapes to the others who are waiting outside in a car. I won´t get suspected to have anything to do with you and I can make sure you stay with our deal.” “Magnus, no, don´t!” Meliorn interrupted him, but Magnus just shook his head and replied: “It´s ok, it´s a simple plan, but it will work, we´ll do it like this. I want you guys to listen to Alec and then organize everything, I´ll leave in two days then.” After he´d ended, he just got up and left the room without another word. He didn´t rush, he walked upright and as imperious as always, the breakdown hit him only behind closed and locked doors. Trembling, he wrapped his arms around his body on the floor, trying to stop all those deep terrible thoughts in his head. They ate him up, grabbed him and dragged him into the darkness, drawing invisible scars on his skin and mind and leaving him all broken and crashed like this. `Don´t do this, don´t let this bloody weakness out, you care for people, not the other way around.´ But Magnusjust started sobbing again and again and bumped his head against the door behind him. `Why can´t you just go on, why can´t you continue being the strong person you pretend to be? It worked for so long, why not now?´ But he just cried his pain out louder until he crawled into his bed and drowned his sore voice in the sheets. `I hate you, I hate you, you´re weak, you make mistakes, you destroy everything you´ve built up, you´re ballast for everyone around you, it´s good you disappear now, it´s good you´re not longer their problem.´ “Magnus?” Alexander. ///// `Go away, leave me, keep treating me like a monster.´ Magnus wanted to scream, but because he never did in the presence of others and because he couldn´t do other noises than this or sobbing, he stayed still and held his breath. “Magnus, are you there?” What did Alec want when he hated him so much? “It´s just about the plan, to talk about your role.” Of course, the only thing that would him bring as far away from him as possible. Magnus couldn´t facehim like this, he looked worse than Simon the last day, swollen eyes, red face. So it was dumb, but he just buried himself into the blanket and covered his ears with more pillows until the voice was gone. It made the screaming in his head more present and unendurable bad, but finally Alec had left him alone. He hoped he didn´t recognize that he´d been there, it could have also been possible that Magnus just locked his room. Last two days in freedom and it was not even the worst thing, he wanted to get this done and Raph out of there, he didn´t care what happened to him, he deserved spending the rest of his life in prison, it was ok. Maybe the glass was just full now, he was tired and exhausted and his family would be fine without him. They had each other, they didn´t need him, nobody did. Maybe he should just style himself up and visit some of his usual clubs, probably he would regret it if he didn´t do it one last time. Maybe it would scare away the numbness inside of him, giving him at least a tiny bit of feeling he could hold onto. Indeed, it didn´t last long until any stranger pinned him down against any bed in any apartment and then came over him. Magnus´ body reacted, he moaned, he gave himself to this black haired man, moved with him in sync, under him, on top of him, even came with him. He felt the touches, his climax, this guy was really not this bad, but inside him it stayed the same. Emotionless, suffering, drowned in the depressions, when did he fall this deep? When had hereached the point where he stopped living for his self and forgot caring? He was sick of it. ///// Alec also came at the last day before their attack, to check everything and finally talk with Magnus how exactly they would do it. But Magnus was somehow absent and just nodded and agreed quiet with every of Alec´s suggestions. It seemed as if he put less and less effort into his appearance, as if he didn´t care anymore if he was able to dominate everyone around him, not even Alec. Additionally, he recognized those blue hickeys at his neck, only half covered from his shirt. Obviously Magnus hadn´t changed, maybe he was just too exhausted from his last night to look perfect, but he was totally fine. Nothing could destroy his arrogance, Magnus grinned and played around and acted so presumptuous, he didn´t even look at Alec, he ignored him as much as possible. Alec got furious that he wasn´t even good enough for him to earn eye contact or a proper conversation, at least he wanted his help, not the other way around. He really had the suspicion that Magnus had been in his room yesterday and just treated him like an annoying child. Not only that this man was a criminal that only cared about himself, he was also so filthy seductive and treacherous, Alec had the desire to punch him whenever he saw this smirk. Nevertheless he grabbed his arm and hold him back, when they others had already left. Magnus flinched hard and freed himself immediately. “What?” “Just want to make sure you´ve listened to everything I said, it didn´t seem so.” “What do you think I did the last hours, I don´t do this for fun!” Magnus hissed at him. “That´s hard to believe.” “I don´t have to proof myself. Especially not to you! We have a deal, forgot? Just fulfill what you´ve promised.” “I´m sorry I care, it´s a huge risk for me!” “Oh, poor you. Fuck off and don´t bother me with your doubts. You weren´t this incredulous the day we met. What happened to the man that took me on a table?” “He got to know you.” “You wish.” He really didn´t get to know him, only the next layer, nobody had found the core yet. Alec hadn´t been there when Magnus cried, he hadn´t hold him until he´d stopped sobbing, he hadn´t seen the scars and he hadn´t taken care of them. He had no right to judge him, but he did, how could he have known it better? //// “Don´t go Magnus. Stay, there is another way!” Meliorn nuzzled into his neck while hugging him one last time. “There isn´t. I´m fine, watch over the others, ok?” Magnus forced himself to smile before he entered the car at the passenger seat, he took a deep breath, but quickly wore his mask when Alec got in, too. There they were, both about to fulfill their deal, Raph would get freed, Magnus caught and Alec his life back. All three wouldn´t see each other ever again. Tears came up, but Magnus´ embarrassment could push them away and he looked out of the window the whole time, watching the blurred landscape outside. It was raining, what highlighted the depressing mood. “You know what to do?” Alec wanted to know, but concentrated on the street. “Stop asking me that.” “So you do?” “Alexander, what´s the point? Don´t try to start any small talk, that´s a little ridiculous and, well, just too late.”“I didn´t meant t-“ “Let it be. Please, it just…hurts.” Why pretending to be strong, when it would be the last time he talked with him? It didn´t matter anymore if Alec remembered him as sick and weak, why not showing someone his real inside for the first and last time? Everything seemed so apathetic, but it was also somehow relieving to be able to stop pretending and Alec´s uncomfortable looking face said more than thousand words. His knuckles got white when he grabbed the steering wheel harder. “Are…are you not sure about this anymore?” “No. I´m ok with dying.” “You won´t die! Just go to jail.” “The police has other plans.” “Don´t be so paranoid, we have a law, how to treat arrested people.” “Yea, may be, believe what you want.” Magnus let this sentence alone like this, but Alec couldn´t endure it very long. “What are you talking about?” “I´ve told you that I´m no killer, only a protectorand that they haunt me!” “You lied.” “Yes, as I said, believe what you want.” They were there. Precaution, Alec parked a little away from the prison and took the handcuffs. “Hands behind your back.” Magnus turned away from him and did what he wanted, so Alec could take his wrists and let the metal klick around it.///// He could feel Alec´s hesitation, he brushed a tiny bit too long over the skin at his arms, but at the end, he was chained and Alec dragged him rudely to the entrance. Everything happened so fast. As soon as the cameras around the building could spot them, Magnus started to move and fight back screaming, so it was nearly impossible for one person to hold him. Shocked Raph and two cops were already at the exit hall, when they crashed in. “Help me! I can´t control him any longer!” Immediately, they let go of the prisoner, who was cuffed anyways, and tried to help him. Just as planned, Magnus freed himself from the loose handcuffs, took his hidden knife and stabbed everything around him he could reach, while Alec quickly gave Raph a sign, whereupon he jumped up and ran outside. When he came back to himself, one man was dead, Magnus lay on the ground and the other cop stood in front of him, his gun pointed at Magnus´ head. “Oh god, is he dead?” Alec came to the officer. “Yes, and this piece of shit will be, too!” The man smirked and unlocked his weapon, Magnus flinched at the sound. “W-what, why, he can´t do anything, I brought him here for arresting him!” Alec looked from the cop to Magnus and back, his hand at his own gun at his belt, what was happening? “Oh no, he´s on the list. Kill without any questions, order from the boss. I´ll get a nice reward, we can share, of course.” Magnus had been right? Magnus had been right. They didn´t want a prisoner, they wanted a corpse, they wanted an enemy they could make responsible for all their faults. No, just no, Alec was ok with him at a safe fair place, he was ok with doing the right thing for the law, but this was neither ok, nor right. Everything happened so fast. “No, stop it! I won´t let you!” Alec yelled, made a step to the man and took his gun in sync with him, while Magnus used the distracted cop, jumped up and threw himself between the two, to protect Alec, to save him from the shot. Before Alec could react, both weapons got fired, he hit the officer above his west into his neck, he himself stayed unharmed, because Magnus took his bullet. The force of the impact threw his body backwards against Alec´s and both got pushed down to the floor.“Magnus!” Alec lay him down and eyed him up, blood, so much blood, it all came from the wound in his stomach, at the left side under his rips. Instinctive Alec pressed his hands on it to stop all the bleeding, whereupon Magnus moaned in pain. “Shsh, oh god, you stupid, you stupid, why do you do such stupid things?!” Alec cried while trying to drag him up, they had to get out of there, but Magnus screamed louder at every move. “Al-Alexander!” “Hold onto me! Come Magnus, come, it will be alright, just come!” “I-I can´t…hurts…Alexander don´t leave me!” He buried his nails franticly in Alec´s arm. “I won´t, I´ll stay right here, I won´t leave you!” Alec promised, but then just pulled him quickly and rudely up, not listening to the yelling. Magnus would feel like in hell, but at least Alec could bring him into a hospital. “You!” The doors slammed open and Raphael rushed to them, he was back.. “What did you do with him? Magnus!” “He got shot, help me to bring him into the car!” Quickly Raph took Magnus´ other side and together they made it, just a few seconds before the alarm got activated and the doors locked. Raph and another man sat at the front, Alec with Magnus on his lap at the back seats. He was unconscious and shaking while more and more sweat drops ran down his forehead. “Shht Magnus, only a few minutes more, it will be alright, completely alright!” Raph turned around, he was worried sick and so confused why an officer helped them. “What happened, what the fuck was the plan?” “H-he should go in and you out, that was the deal, but it, it went wrong, they wanted to kill him, without a real reason!” “Of course, didn´t he tell you?! God why did he want to die, what was wrong with him?” “I don´t know.” Alec answered abashed. `I know nothing about him.´ Magnus loosened the grip around his arm, his eyes were already closed. “N-no, hey, Magnus, stay awake! Stay awake, can´t you hear me?! Listen to my voice!” `It is all my fault, all my fault, I was too dumb and stubborn to listen!´ “How long until the hospital?” “We´re driving home, a hospital is way too dangerous!” “No, are you out of your mind?! I can´t stop the bleeding, we need a doctor!” “We have one, just try to hold him awake!” Alec tried, he tried with all his might, talked to him, shook him softly, stroked over his beautiful sweaty face over and over again, but Magnus slipped through his fingers, his mind was about to drift away. Finally they were in the garage under the building, where a women, who got called Cat, waited. They put him on stretcher and in the elevator, but didn´t allow Alec to come with them. “Please, I promised not to leave him, I-“ “You´ve already destroyed enough.” Raph replied before the doors closed. `Fuck, fuck, fuck.´ Startled he looked around, found the emergency stares and checked every floor until he´d arrived and the one with the most people, beside it looked a bit like a hospital. First he saw Simon in Raphael´s arms, he was crying, whileRaph comforted him and whispered something into his hair, they were reunited and in love.“Where is Magnus? I he ok?” “Hey! Didn´t he tell you to leave?!” Meliorn blocked his way. “Why are you here? He´s hurt because of you! You wanted to get rid of him, then leave now!” He hissed. “No, please, just tell me if he makes it.” One door opened and Cat came out, obviously she was the doctor, all the others got quiet. “The bullet went through his stomach, that´s why he lost lots of blood and didn´t wake up yet, but it didn´t damage any organs at least he´s stable now. I can´t allow you to go in, maybe tomorrow, he needs rest.” They nodded and left, but Alec just couldn´t. “I-I´m Alec, I, it´s all my fault.” She eyed him up, but didn´t seem as angry as Raph or Meliorn, her gaze got stuck at his blood soaked clothes. “I know you have no reason to trust me, but please let me see him.” Maybe Cat did really trust him, maybe his pitifulness touched her, anyhow, she let him in. “You have time until I brought new clothes, stay quiet.” “Thank you.” Magnus looked as if he was sleeping, only the tube in his right arm and the bandage around his torso didn´t fit this image. “Hey, Magnus,” He took place at a chair next to the bed and wrapped is fingers around his hand, thanks god, he felt warmth. “I´m sorry, I´m so sorry, I hurt you, you feel this pain because of me.” His tears dropped on the mattress and seeped away into the white fabric. “I should have listened, I should have listened only once. There was more that bothered you, but I was so stuck in my hate, I didn´t even question your behavior. I forgot why I liked you, why I wanted to be with you from the beginning.” Sobbing Alec softly kissed his palm and inhaled his smell, it was still the same. Why did he need so much time, why did he need a fucking bullet to let his feelings out? “Forgive me or not, it´s ok, just please wake up and tell me you´re alright.” He carefully stroked over his cheek. “Please Magnus, just this one thing.” “Hey,” Cat came in, with a bunch of cloths and a towel in her hands. “I don´t think he wakes up this fast, we all have to be a little patient. Here, you should shower and rest.” “I-I won´t leave him, I promised it.” “That´s ok, there´s a bathroom behind that door, you can use it.” She was so soft and calm, exactly what Alec needed, even if he didn´t deserve it. “Thank you.” “You´re…welcome. I´ll come back in a few hours, but inform me if something changes!” He nodded and just continued squeezing Magnus´ hand and crying silently from time to time. ////After a view hours without any changes of Magnus´ state, Cat let the others in. They looked suspicious at Alec who didn´t move an inch from Magnus away, he just let go of him and looked away from them. He didn´t care if they saw his swollen eyes or shaking hands, he was done in, but he didn´t relax or shut his eyes only for a second, he wanted to be there when he woke up, even if Cat gave him not much hope. She just came, checked the wound and renewed the bandage. “Alec it´s very late now and Magnus does well, you should sleep, I´m saying this as a doctor.” “No, he´s here because of me, I have to stay if something happens.” He replied and saw how she fixed the infusion. “Maybe you are to blame for the situation, but not for that he caught a bullet for you. It was his decision, he must have been aware of the consequences.”“But…why?”Sighing Alec took his hand again. “Magnus is strong, he cares for others, listens to their problems, but he barely talks about himself. He´s a closed person, but maybe you can change it, what he did for you means something.” “So I can stay here?” She rolled her eyes, but nodded.Gladly he sat on his chair and watched Magnus´ breaths, hoping they wouldn´t end somehow in the middle of the night. He looked so vulnerable, it hurt, he was supposed to look powerful and to flash everybody with his unique smile. How could Alec just destroy all this within a few days?Some time he really got too tired and fell into this bed, it was cozier than expected, so he quickly was dormant, even if it was just for a few hours. Longer he couldn´t endure it. It was painful that Magnus looked exactly like in the last night, but his condition also hadn´t become worse. Alec was only a little shocked when he went to the bathroom and saw himself in the mirror, he´d expected not to look very good, but this bad?! Well, it didn´t matter, he just cleaned his face with some cold water and went back to Magnus. First sunshine peeked through the curtains and touched his bronzed face, his arms, his naked bandaged chest and made him glowing. Like an angle,, but like a fallen one. “Good morning Mags. Time to wake up.” He smiled sadly. Soon Cat came back and took care of her patient again. “It´s not good to sleep on that chair, but I can´t convince you to go, can I?” Alec just shook his head. “Well, at least I will bring you something to eat then. Try to relax, it didn´t get worse since yesterday.” “May be, but…I just have to think about what happens when he wakes up. I have so many questions, but he will hate me and that´s understandable. I would do the same.” “Alec, you just need time, blending out all the circumstances and recover, especially Magnus. It think it´s better when you leave him alone and give him space.” Alec brushed with his thumb over his back of hand. “I will. I just want to wait until he´s here again.” Cat patted his shoulder and went to take something from the kitchen. Alec was lost in his thoughts again. For the first time he realized that the cameras had captured everything, how he protected Magnus, how he shot the cop, how he worked together with Raphael. He was not better than any criminal he´d arrested some time ago, but he didn´t regret it, of course not. The only thing was that he had no life now anymore, if he turned on the TV, he was sure they would send his face to look for him. Suddenly he felt something, pressure around his fingers. Magnus, it was him, first he saw his hand moving, then his eyes snapped open, those beautiful chocolate eyes with the golden pigments.“Hey, Magnus,” Alec parted their hands before he was completely in mind, he´d touched him the whole time, but now it was uncomfortable. He blinked and looked around, his eyes got only slowly used to the light. “Where am I, what ha-aarghh, holy shit!”Magnus had tried to sit up, got remembered, but not completely and moved disoriented more around, until a bloody spot appeared at the bandage. The wound got opened again.“Nono, calm down, please, you have to stay still!”Alec just bend over him and pushed him carefully down in the mattress again. Magnus wined clenching his teeth and looked at Alec, fear in his gaze, Alec couldn´t tell because of himor because of the heavy pain killers that made him still dizzy.“I´ll go inform Cat.” “N-no, wait.” “I think it´s really bet-“ “Where you here? The whole time?” Alec couldn´t read Magnus´ face, but he was sure Magnus could see his sorrow and guilt. “Of course, you…got shot instead of me. You shouldn´t have done this, I can´t ever make it up again. I was wrong the whole time, I was so fucking stupid, it was my bullet! I was the one who deserved it.”Alec turned away to the door and wiped his tears away, he couldn´t hold it back.Too much, everything was too much, he felt as if there was no air to breathe anymore, something had grabbed his lungs and pressed them together. Magnus was out of his field of view and it was good, he couldn´t endure being in the same room with him, let alone facing him, so he left without taking another look.“I, I should go now, Cat has to take a look at you.” ////Magnus was helpless, chained on that bed, so the only thing he could do was watching Alec leaving him. He felt two types of pain at the same moments, the throbbing, violent one in his stomach and a fine, screeching tearing that made his heart race and his mind rotate. His memories got blurry after the shot, but he remembered that Alec had been there, he´d lied in his arms, on a bed? No, it had been moving, a car? Hurtful stabbing in his head when he tried to think of more fractions. Where was Alec, did he leave, was he even there, had he been in this room, where was this room? His gaze went dark again and he was away. “Magnus, hey, are you awake?” Cat came only a few seconds after, but Magnus was already about to drift away, back into the unconsciousness. “Nonono, stay, come on, let your eyes open!” Quickly he poured some medicine into the infusion, what made him awake and suppressed the pain more. Then she sewed the wound and renewed the bandage while Magnus slowly came back to reality. “Hey, how do you feel, do you need more analgesic?” “N-no I feel nothing.” It was a lie, the other pain was still present, the one that couldn´t be soothed by a million pain killers. “That´s good.” Cat carefully sat down on the bed edge and took his hand. “Gott Magnus, I was so worried, what are you doing, can you explain? How much can you remember?” “Everything before the bullet.” He starred at the white ceiling to avoid Cat´s sad eyes. “Is…is it true that you took it for Alec? He thinks so.” The name that made the pain worse. “Yea…” “But why? I´m not a cruel person, but he treated you like shit. You could have escaped without getting shot!” “But then he could be dead now.” Catharina just nodded sighing. “He saved me right?” “Yes, with Raph´s help.” “So he is ok? And Simon and the others, too?” “Yes, everybody is ok, except you.” “I am if you are.” He just answered. “And that´s the problem. You care for your family, for all of us, but now also for complete strangers that hate you! It bothers you, that´s not healthy Magnus! Promise me that you won´t do something like this ever again, please try not to die ever again!” “Occupational risk.” “Oh stop it. What did that man to you?” “He was crying when he left.” “I know, at least he´s sorry for his behavior.” “That´s the point, he is, but he has no reason to be so! I dragged him into this, I blackmailed him to help me freeing Raph! It´s my fault, it would be my fault if he´d got shot! I couldn´t forgive myself then. I…I...it would be my fault.” He stammered frantic and grabbed the sheets. “Hey, hey, Magnus calm down, relax, don´t try so hard with all the drugs in your veins. Everything is fine and everybody is save, ok? Your family is here, A-Alec is here!” “Can you tell him to stay if he wants to? Please?” “Yes, I will, don´t worry anymore, ok? Try to sleep.” He murmured something, Cat´s words had effect, he slept better after he knew his crew was safe, that…Alec was safe and with him. ///// Alec knew he had to say good bye to him, this mountain of fault and sorrow was way too huge to make it right ever again. Nevertheless, he´d hid in the room Cat had showed him and didn´t dare to enter Magnus´ room. Whenever he stood in front of the door he felt sick in his stomach, so he just sat in the corridor and listened to the silence. More than once Cat found him there, at the end of his nerves, but she couldn´t do anything but telling him that Magnus was doing better with every day. He´d already been out of serious danger, the rest was just a matter of recovery and rest, at least for his body.“Alec, hey, do something, you kept the distance long enough.” “Yea…maybe.” He whispered numb. “I´m serious.” Cat continued. “You came every day twice to ask me how he´s doing, I know you can´t just let go. He´s at the balcony, catching some fresh air, help him back to his bed, I have no time now.” That was an obvious lie, but Cat had to drag them together. She knew, at the beginning she thought distance was better, but Alec was suffering and Magnus had changed, she didn´t saw him laugh only one time. After she was gone, Alec looked afraid to the door, he didn´t feel ready, but it was still chilly in the spring mornings, so Magnus shouldn´t stay out too long. Hesitating he got up and took a few steps to the door, his hand was resting at the door handle for ages before he got in. “M-Magnus?” Alec spotted him outside, he was wearing a dark blue dressing gown and leaned on the railing. “Hey, Magnus, it´s me. Alec.” He continued talking, not to give him a shock. “Alexander?” Magnus had turned around and faced him, he shivered slightly. “Yea, hey,” He stepped outside to him. “Cat, she told me to help you in, she has something else to do.” “Ok,” Magnus held out one hand to him, the other one was still grabbing the railing. Carefully Alec put his arm around his waist, aware of not touching the bandage. It felt as if he was thinner now, but at least he could walk with his help. //// Alec tried to touch him as less as possible, he was half naked and he didn´t want to make him feel uncomfortable, but Magnus was staggering, so he held him tight. Carefully, Alec let him down on the mattress and dragged the blanket up to him, while Magnus watched his movements. “Thank you.” He whispered but looked away, he didn´t like that he needed someone else to do such easy things for him. He seemed kind of unsurewhat to do next, so he just continued sitting still and starring into nothing. Hesitating, Alec took place next to the bed and asked: “How, how are you? How do you feel?” “Don´t you know? I thought you asked Cat every day.” Alec´s eyes widened, she did tell him? Magnus would think he was crazy. “I-I´m sorry, I didn´t want to harass you. I don´t know if you can remember what I´ve said to you when you woke up for the first time, of course I blame myself for all this, I-“ “Please don´t Alexander, it´s not your fault, not at all.” “What?” “You were there at the prison because of me, the guy shot you because of me. This,” Magnus pointed at his stomach. “Is what I deserved.” “What, no Magnus!” Alec´s eyes got watery, how could he say such cruel things, why couldn´t he just yell at him and tell him to leave, why couldn´t he just hate him? What made him so self-destructive? “Hey, don´t you dare believing your words! You should be angry with me, you should shout at me! Not damage yourself!” “But I´m weak Alec, I thought I could do this all, care for my family, protect them, but I´m just too weak.” His voice was shaking, he looked so small. “I lost it the moment Raph got caught, you saw Simon´s pain, I caused it! And when I tried to make it up again, I also ruined your career, everything. I´m a mess.” He sat legs-crossed, even if the wound hurt like this, then sank down into the sheets and turned away from him. “God why do I tell you, as if I didn´t embarrass me enough.”“Vulnerability is not embarrassing and it´s eating you up if you don´t let it out sometimes.” Alec wanted to comfort him so badly, but he didn´t feel as if he was the right person to do so. Closeness could make the thing between them even more toxic than it already was. Magnus had serious problems, but he should talk to Cat, he himself could only hurt him more. “Magnus I want you to know that there are people who love you, ok? You´re not alone, never.” Alec reached a hand to stroke over his back, that faced him, but he pulled it back before he could reach him. It wasn´t right and certainly not fair to affect him. Magnus was so pure and he needed someone better than Alec, someone who was good for him and could really do something for him.///// “When you go, tell Cat I need more painkillers, many more.” Magnus muttered into his pillow, but Alec was hesitating. “Didn´t she already give you your dose about an hourago?” He didn´t want to sound like a stalker, but he could really clearly remember. “They´re useless, it hurts.” Magnus was still not looking at him, but his back muscles tensed, he felt attacked. Nevertheless Alec couldn´t believe him, what he´d got was really heavy. “Just tell her.” Sighing Alec got up and stepped to the other side of the bed to look at his face again, he kneeled down. Magnus only opened his swollen eyes when Alec started to talk so close to him. “I won´t, tell me what really bothers you, please, you will feel better then.” He´d just done it, he´d broken through the wall and offered him to open himself. He was still not sure if it was a good idea, but he couldn´t endure suffering Magnus anymore, he wanted to erase all his worry and fear and comfort him. Alec wanted to see this shining in his pupils again, especially because he was the one who had scared it away. Magnus starred at him for a long time, the man who was on his knees in front of his bed. Why was he still there? Why didn´t he leave him, why was he the only constant face that appeared in the mess in his head again and again? The words dropped from his lips, tough and viscous and he closed his eyes, he didn´t want to see Alec´s reaction, he didn´t want to see the disgust and the laughing that would follow for sure. “I´m lonely.” He took a shivering breath, so many memories crashed him and buried him under them. “I feel caught and drowned, I feel sick in my head, I want to stop it.” His nails dug into his palms. “Please Alexander, make it stop, give me more pills.” “No, I can´t, it would only make you feel worse after.” “I don´t care.” “But I do.” Magnus smiled weakly. “You don´t.” “Yes I do! Of course I do.” “You pushed me away.” Alec winced, it was just the bloody truth. “I did, because I was afraid of someone as overwhelming as you, I acted like a hateful child.That´s why I don´t deserve to be there for you, but I also can´t just let you alone. I will only leave if you tell me.” Magnus shook his head and slipped his fingers in Alec´s hand that rested on the sheets next to him. He was warm and soft and immediately brushed with his thumb over his caramel skin. “Don´t leave me.” //// Magnus had wanted the pills, because it had been the only way to find proper sleep, but now his breathing came back to a normal pace and when he opened his tired eyes, Alec´s slight smile welcomed him. He didn´t know how long he´d slept, the sky was already orange, but Alec was still there. “Do you need something? Something to drink or to eat?” A light calmness lay in the room, everything outside seemed so far away. “I´m fine.” “Really? It´s already evening, the sun is going down. You must be hungry. I am.” Magnus sighed. He was hungry, too, but Alec would have to help him with everything, getting up, going to his room and making food. He rather waited for Cat or somebody else. “I-I can´t…do it myself.” “Can I do it? Or do you need a doctor for medicine or the woundor something?” `Why does he care so much?´ “No, it´s just, I´m a burden as long as I´m like this.” “Oh no Magnus, come, I´ll help you.” Alec carefully brought him from the hospital floor to his own one, let him sit down on the sofa and brought him the blanket from his bed. Magnus missed sleeping there on the thick mattress next to the window wall, watching New York´s lights under him. “I think there´s some Chinese food left in the fridge, just warm it up.” “Err, I don´t think you can still eat that.” Alec said after a look. “Beside you need something fresh and healthy, just wait a second, I´ll go and take some things from the storage.” They had a huge community kitchen for everybody to make food.Alec came back and just started cooking in Magnus´ little kitchen as if it was the most normal thing of the world, while Magnus was still embarrassed about it, he wasn´t comfortable with someone pampering him. “Here, slowly, it´s hot.” He gave him a plate and placed his glass on the couch table, then took place next to him. “Thank you, but you didn´t need to do that.”Magnus said shyly and snuggled more into the blanket. “I wanted something to eat, too.I can say I only did it for me, if you feel better then.” Alec smiled and continued with his meal.He loved seeing how fast he was eating, all the sleep and recoveringreally tore at his powers, of course. “Do you already know how long you will stay?” Magnus had finished and now looked at him quizzically, but still restrained. “No. I don´t know what to do as a police wanted person.” That was just the current situation. Alec didn´t say it with accusation or frustration, he blamed Magnus for nothing and he didn´t want to let it sound as if. He had to be carefully how to talk to him, Alec could not exactly know about his emotional state, either he had another breakdown or he started to swallow everything down again. Neither was good. Alec hoped someday Magnus would be able to talk about his problems without thinking it would be a burden for others. “I´m so sorry, I-I-“ “No Magnus, hey, don´t excuse one more time. I told you it´s ok and not even nearly as bad as the things I did.” He looked down and placed his empty plate at the table. “Then, I want to forget everything.” “What?” “I don´t want to think about what happened anymore and I don´t want to think about our actions anymore.” “But mine were so much worse than yours, y-you got shot.” Alec couldn´t believe it. “I know Alexander and it will heal up, but you´ve lost your hole life, you can stay here as long as you want. I´ll give you everything I can buy with money, I have enough.” “I just want you to get healthy.” ////“I will, Cat said my conditions are good.” Magnus answered and yawned again, he hated how tired and useless the pills made him, but Alec thought he was so cute. He sat in his nest made of pillows and blankets and leaned back against the sofa. “Hey, wait, don´t fall asleep, we have to go back to your bed. It´s not good for your injury to lay so crumpled.” “It´s ok, your arms felt strong, you can carry me.” `Oh my god.´ Alec thought rapturous, Magnus was even cuter when he was sleepy and drowsy nuzzling. “No, come.” Smiling Alec slipped one arm around him, helped him up and Magnus clung onto him. He´d loosen his barricades a little bit and just hugged him with one arm to make it easier for Alec to support him while walking. Magnus´ smell rose slightly into his nose, it was still sweet and smoky and Alec had missed it so much. “Here, lay down, no rush.” “Thank you.” “Not for this.” Alec couldn´t hold back but stroked a black strand of hair from his forehead, so softly, Magnus nearly didn´t recognize it anymore. “Sleep well ok?” “Can you stay? Just until I´m asleep, it won´t last long anyway.” “Sure.” Alec sat down on the mattress and held his hand again until he was dormant, what happened within a few seconds. He tried to convince himself that Magnus just needed anyone to hold on, not especially him. Silently he sneaked out of the room on tiptoes and went to Cat´s treatment room. She was sitting at her table and wrote something. “Oh hey, how´s Magnus?” “I think he´s ok, just sleepy.” “Yea, the side effects. Did you guys talk?” “Yes…it´s complicated, but I think we can somehow go back to normal. He´s very vulnerable and suggestible right now, I know I have to be careful.” “I hope so Alec, it´s hard enough for him.” “I´ll make sure things get better, that´s the least I can do.” Alec replied. “Ok, you can tell that Raph, too, he wants to see you.” He gulped uneasily. “Err, why?” “I don´t know, but he manages the business things right now, you should better go.” “Ok, thanks. See you.” With a queasy feeling in his stomach he took the elevator to the community rooms.//// By now, Alec knew approximately where what was in the building, but he hadn´t left his own room very often, because the others still looked suspiciously at him. Raphael sat with Simon at a table near the windows, Alec hadn´t seen them separated since they came back, they always stuck together. He hadn´t ever seen two people so much in love.Right now it seemed like Raphael tried to read some documents or anything, but Simon on his lap made it not easy for him. Tenderly he fondled through his straight black hair and snuggled into his crook of neck, so Raph had to reply and couldn´t concentrate anymore, but he was smiling restrainedly. This smile died when he saw Alec. Nevertheless still softly, he patted Simon´s back to imply him to slip down from his tights. “Y-you wanted to see me?”“Yes. You want to stay?” He asked Simon, who just nodded. His friendly face was a hard contrast to Raph´s. Alec took place and looked unsure at the two. “Well, I´m just saying it out, you should leave.” Simon avoided his gaze, obviously he´d known it, how not? Alec wasn´t very shocked, too.“Needless to mention our reasons. You destroy things Alec, we won´t let you destroy Magnus, too. I think you knowyou´ve already done enough.” Alec swallowed down his upcoming urge to sob and forced himself to look at them. “I do know and I wish I could make it undone more than anything else, but I talked to Magnus, he says I can stay.” Raph sighed, whereupon Simon took his hand worriedly. “Magnus is not in the state to make such decisions. He´s a hearted person, even, or better, especially now, but that´s why he has a family, to protect him. You won´t see, never mind meet him again, leave us alone!” Alec´s eyes widened, he didn´t know what to answer. “Raph, at least he savedyou two and threw away his carrier. He can´t go out, the police is looking for him, too.” Simon tried to calm him down, he knew how protective and possessive his boyfriend could be. “Nevertheless I don´t want him to affect Magnus. He has to get well and you hinder him!”“I-I don´t, I´ll do everything for him!” “Great, then stay the fuck away from him! Don´t you dare to go to his room again, we´re the ones with the weapons, remember?!” Raph just stood up and left with a last hateful look, while Simon tried to fix the shards he´d left. “Don´t worry Alec, he just doesn´t know you ok? Maybe you should let it rest and don´t meet Magnus again. Ican only make sure that you´re allowed stay here, so don´t make Raph angry until Magnus can decide things himself again. Raph isn´t a bad person, just concerned.” He gave him a guilty smile, then followed his boyfriend to their rooms. “You´ve exaggerated poppet.” “Don´t call me pet names.” “Relax, we´re alone, you can admit you like it.” Simon smiled and softly cupped Raphael´s face with his hands. “But I´m honest, Alec feels really bad!” “That doesn´t matter. There are people like you, loving and understanding and people like him, selfish and rude. You didn´t try to kill me when you found out about my life.” “Baby, you can´t compare this, I fell in love with you the second I saw you.”“Oh Lewis,” Raph whispered and kissed him loving on his lips. Even if Raph had known about his feeling for Simon as long as he did, it had taken a little time until they got this close. He´d been always distanced and carefully not to scare him away with his sexuality, but this was the last thing Simon cared about. “I love you, more than Magnus, but I love him too and I don´t trust Alec.” He sighed.“Cat told me he asked everyday how he is, he really cares about him, just give him a chance.” “Maybe.” “Thank you, I love you too.” Simon smiled the adorable smile Raph liked so much and gave him a peek on his cheeks. “Now come to bed, I need you, I´m cold and cuddly.” //// Alec didn´t knew if he should be angry or just understanding with Raphael. If he was in his situation, he wouldn´t have done anything different, he also would try to protect his loved ones, even if Alec had never experienced how something like this felt. Well, nearly never. Maybe he got a glance of this feeling the moment Raph forbid him to see Magnus. He´d known he would do it again anyway, didn´t matter what he or Lewis or anybody else said. Quietly he stood outside in the corridor near Magnus´ patient room and watched him sleeping through the window in the door, once again he felt like a stalker more than like a care taker, but it was worth it. Gladly Alec would have given everything just for seeing him wrapped in that white blanket and getting convinced that he was ok, even if he looked very pale and sick this time, but Alec had seen worse days.Only after a few minutes of starring he could loosen himself from the view and slowly went back to his own sleeping room. It was nice, too, better than any cheap hotel room in New York and even than some of the expensive ones, but it felt cold and lonely. There was no hint of himself in the furniture, not his decoration, not his pictures and he wore just some casual clothes he´d received from Cat, because his apartment was under the control of the police now, they would catch him the second he walked in. Especially before he fell asleep, it didn´t feel right to just lay there alone, while there was a person that had told Alec not to leave him. Sure, it was just in the rush of the moment, Magnus had been afraid and in pain, but nevertheless the words echoed in his head when he closed his eyes. He wanted to follow them and comfort him and arghh he had to calm down.`It is more than creepy to just get up in the middle of the night to go watch him sleeping.´ Alec murmured to himself and turned around, all those thoughts made him crazy.//// Magnus woke up from knocking at the door, not a very nice sound to get thrown out of sleep with, but his expressions softened when he saw Alec. Obviously he had decided to knock before coming in from now on. “G-good morning, Catharina gave me your pills.” “Hey, come in.”////Slowly Magnus sat up and the room was rotating, as always, but soon he felt a strong hand behind his back that helped him. It surprised him it wasn´t uncomfortable, but maybe it was a little late to feel so in Alec´s presence. With shaking hands he took the water glass from him and swallowed down the medicine. “Are you ok? You were a little dizzy yesterday.”“I´m fine, I just don´t remember everything I think, but Cat said that´s normal because of all the drugs.” “Oh, what do you remember?” Alec looked concerned at him, but Magnus just smiled with warm eyes. “We were at my apartment and…it was delicious, you should cook more often.” `Was this a hint to meet him again? No, shut up Alec.´ Rushed through his head before he answered: “Thank you, I-I will. Do you also remember what you said…about forgiving me everything?” “Yea, I think so.” “And did you mean it like this?” “Of course I did Alexander, I don´t want to talk about it anymore.” “But-“ “Hey,” Magnus took his hand into his own ones and looked him into his eyes, he didn´t know how else he to make clear he was serious. “I don´t fucking care, ok? Life´s not fair, people get shot, just let it be.” If he was able to he would laugh, but like this he just sighed deeply and stroked with is hand over his face, he was done. “Oh god, I don´t understand you Magnus. It´s just, I´m so wrecked and Raph told me to get lost an-“ “What?” Magnus lifted his eyebrows. “Nothing, I-I can understand him pretty well.” “That´s not the point, it´s not his right to send you away, especially not after I told you to stay! You helped me saving him and he´s not the boss, I am as long as I´m alive! I-I have to talk to him!” Magnus answered furious, he got way too aroused again and wanted to get up, not good for his condition. “Magnus, it´s fine, calm down.Raph can´t drag me further down than I already am.” “Alexander stop it, I want you to be happy, I want as much normality as possible now ok? Enough bad things happened!” Slowly Magnus pulled the tube he wore at night out of his arm.“What about breakfast, can I have some?” How could somebody be so pure and angelic, shivers ran down his spine whenever Alec looked at those nearly black eyes. Everything was broken and he just asked for breakfast. “Sure, sure, I´ll bring some.” “Well, usually I´m always in for breakfast in bed, but I can´t move a lot anyways, so I think I need to stand up as much as possible. And Cat can´t drag me up.” He chuckled quietly. “So you need a strong man?” Alec wanted to act normal, but it was difficult, he couldn´t be as confident as Magnus. He gave him a look. “Yes, obviously I do, even if I feel even more useless then.” “You´re not.” Alec helped him out of the bed and supported him on their way to the elevator, he felt that Magnus got stronger with every day. He walked more straight and tensed his muscles stronger. “Did Catharina tell you when you´ll be able to go by yourself again?” “Why? Do I bother you?” “Nono, not at all, just asking.” “It´s ok Alec, Cat said about a week maybe, but she wasn´t sure. Probably she´s afraid I´d try to stand up alone and fall down again.” “You did?” “Yea, some day I saw you outside and wanted to talk to you, but you were gone.” “God Magnus, don´t do such stupid things!” Alec was truly shocked and held him tighter while he lift floor slid open. “Everything´s fine, now you´re here, right?” “Yea.” //// Magnus waited patient snuggled in his sofa corner until Alec brought him his food, croissants, marmalade, orange juice with lots of vitamins, the cupboards in the community kitchen were always filled. His stomach growled when he saw the full plate he gave him. “You´re hungry?” Alec smiled. “Starving! Laying around is exhausting you know.” “I can imagine.” Alec placed his plate on the table to carry a chair from somewhere, but Magnus just patted the couch next to him. “Come here, ok?” His dark puppy eyes caught his gaze for a second, before they were concentrating on the food again. Of course Alec fulfilled his plead, even with pleasure. Without any force, his body slipped next to Magnus´, close, but not close enough to feel each other´s warmth or touch. “Err…are you actually allowed to eat everything? With the medicine? I just picked something you may like, without any regard.” “Everything but alcohol and more drugs. And you guessed pretty well what I like, you also did the first time we met.” He chuckled and took another big bite, just to continue giggling. “I´m sorry, that was offensive.”“Nah, I take it as a compliment.” “Oh you should.” Memories, those cursed memories came up in his head and kept lingering there in his mind, Magnus sweet, sweet moans, his delicious body moving beneath him, it was all his fault, he´d opened this topic again. “You´re thinking about it right now?” How could Magnus ask those questions while chewing as if nothing happened? “No, why?” “Your eyes drove away, your body tensed and you held your breath.” “You can´t know, you didn´t even look at me properly!” “So you did? Remember it?” Magnus grinned triumphally. “Oh gosh, of course I did, you can´t pretend you forgot!” “I also do remember, even if I saw not much, but it´s about the feeling, right?” Alec blushed with every other word and started sweating, he heard Magnus´ huffing in his ears again. “Stop, stop talking about it please.” His hands wouldn´t stop moving, didn´t matter how hard he grabbed the croissant. “Why do you regret it?” “I don´t feel comfortable with talking about it, but I don´t regret it! I know I said so, but I don´t.” “Me neither Alexander. I…I feel like, no, I hope it´s a new start, a clear cut. Maybe not completely back to zero, but without regret.” Magnus put away his empty plate and turned to him as far as possible, then said. “I´m sorry, I´m nervous and it´s stupid, I…do you want it, too?” “Want what?” Tension cracked in the air between them, giving Alec´s goose bumps and drying his throat. Magnus seemed so small and shy again, but not in an unhappy way, more excited and nevertheless afraid to get rejected. “Magnus?” Alec´s hoarse voice took him back to reality. “Do you want to kiss me Alexander?” His fast throbbing heart dropped down to the ground to Magnus´ feet, while he quickly backed away as he got no answer. “I-it´s ok if no-““Shh, of course I do.”Carefully he leaned forward and touched his jawline and cheek, whereupon Magnus closed his eyes shivering, he knew what was about to come.Even more softly Alec brought their foreheads together, his faltering breath against his lower lip. He felt so happy he could cry, but unbearable guilty at the same time, he shouldn´t do this, he shouldn´t influence Magnus this badly. Their kiss was timid and facile, barely touching, just more breathing and stealthy looks. In the middle Magnus put his palm on Alec´s hand on his cheek and squeezed it, then kissed more deeply. Tenderly moving, little noises of their lips begging for each other in the silence.//// They paused, just listening to each other´s panting, but the stop didn´t last long, after a few seconds Magnus´ smooth lips welcomed Alec´s again, there where they belonged to. Alec´s eyes were closed, only Magnus´ heartbeat and his warmth led him and let him reply. He wanted to touch him, embrace him, hold him, but he was afraid of hurting the wound, so he just cupped his face and put all his wishes in the kiss. It had started softly and also stayed like this, but even without tongue or moans or heavy making out, they knew what the other one felt.Silently, Alec brushed over Magnus´ temple and left a last light kiss there on the thin skin. Magnus let out a little gasp, he reacted so sensitive at the small peek. Both hadn´t really moved a lot, nevertheless they looked at each other breathless and especially Alec´s cheeks were strawberry red. “I have to admit I forgot how great you taste. Feels good to get remembered.” Magnus whispered and bit his peachy there where Alec had caressed them a few moments before. “So you do feel good? You don´t think this is a mistake?” “No, of course not. Do you think so? W-why did you kiss me then?” Magnus looked so quickly so hurt, Alec couldn´t endure it, once again he realized how careful he had to be with his emotions. “Nono, hey, it´s no mistake for me, it´s just, you´ve trusted me once and I betrayed you. I can promise you now that I won´t leave you ever again, that I do everything for you, that I´ll stick to your side whenever you need me, but I´ve already damaged your trust in me once. I want to make sure that you´re able to do this, I´d understand if not.” Without a word, Magnus turned around, grabbed his blanket and leaned back in Alec´s arms, his back against Alec´s chest. Instinctively he hugged him from behind and stroked through his hair, it felt so damn right. There was this beautiful blanket caterpillar pressed against his body.“I am able to do this, I really want to.”Magnus nuzzled and Alec could hear his smiling, he felt how his own body released millions happiness hormones. “Do you…still eat that?”Magnus asked trying to sound casual and pointed at the half eaten croissant on his plate. “Enjoy your meal.” “Thank you, I can´t help, it´s just so good.”One week ago Alec hadn´t been able to dream about such a moment with him, to receive this adoration from him. “God I will get so fat.” Magnus muttered and dipped the rest into the marmalade. “That´s good, you´ve lost weight.” “And muscles. I look awful, I don´t know how you can like me like this.” He answered and took his hand. “You´re beautiful Magnus, overly beautiful, every part of you.” Alec whispered and kissed his head, there where his heavenly smell was strongest.//// “Magnus?” “Yea?” He answered humming. “Are we about to start a relationship? With dates? And monogamous? Cause I don´t want anybody beside you and I couldn´t endure seeing you with somebody else.” “Me neither. Let´s count this as our first date ok?” “Kisses at the first date, interesting.” “Oh be quiet!” Magnus chuckled and lifted his head to kiss his chin above him because he couldn´t reach a higher spot. “You don´t complain, do you?” “Of course not.” Alec continued brushing through his hair, it was a black mess with the light strains by now. “How do you want to continue our first date then? I want it to become something special.” “It is Alexander, because you are something special. I can´t do much beside laying around anyways, but believe me, with you it´s as comfortable as possible. Like in a cozy bubble.”“Yea, I know what you mean. Do you want to watch a movie or something then? Since we can´t have a cliché cinema first date?” “Yea, sure.” Magnus answered, flickered his fingers and the screen in front of them lighted up. “What, how does this work?” Alec imitated his move, but nothing happened. “It´s magic.” He giggled at his confused face. “Ok, no, I´m laying on the remote control.” Magnus answered and gave it to chuckling Alec. “Choose what you want.” He zapped through the channels for a while, but found nothing good, so he asked: “Do you have Netflix or something?” “Of course, we´re maybe criminals, but who can live without Netflix? Oh, but wait a second, the news are on.”“…got quiet around the infamous gang the Vipers in New York. Their leader Magnus Ban, who could escape with a member of his gang and the former cop Alexander Lightwood, is still on the run, just like all the Vipers and Lightwood. Attempts to catch them brought no success and they also didn´t visit a hospital yet, even if Bane got shot and seriously injured, how you can see on the video from the prison.” Once again Alec watched the scenes, his heart clenched seeing how Magnus jumped up and caught the bullet, how he and the other cop fell down nearly at the same second, how Alec bent over him, crying. “Wow, I look gorgeous but so caring, I hope it doesn´t harm my bad reputation. What do you mean?” Magnus asked jokingly, but Alec didn´t answer, he was sobbing in Magnus´ fluffy hair. “Alec? Hey, no, why are you crying?” “I-I´m sorry, I just can´t watch this, i-it hurts.” “Oh god, excuse my dumbness,” Magnus quickly ended the news show and opened Netflix, then turned around to him and wrapped his arms around his neck. “Hey, I´m sorry, I was thoughtless, but it´s all over now. We´re here and safe!” It took a little time until Magnus managed to move without crouching the wound, but then he sat on Alec´s lap and wiped away the tears. “God, what have I done, shht, I´m sorry, please stop crying. I won´t ever joke about it, I promise!”Magnus looked helpless, just stroked over his wet cheeks again and again, until Alec took a deep breath and hugged him back. “I´m sorry, my emotions are just going a bit crazy.” “No, I should take more care of what I´m saying. It must be hard for you, what your family thinks when they see this,” “No, it´s no such thing, I don´t have family anymore, I just get remembered how close I was to losing you.” “Oh Alexander.” Magnus whispered guilty and kissed him softly on his lips, they were trembling and tasted salty. “It´s ok, you´re right, we´re safe now.” Alec dried his face into his warm crook at neck, then smiled at him again. “I´m really ok. What do you want to watch?”“Ok…have you heard of Sense8? Very good storyline, including a very hot gay couple.” “I haven´t, but sounds very good.” Alec answered while holding him tight, he wouldn´t let go of him this fast again. //// They were at episode four or five when it knocked. “It´s maybe Cat, once she woke me up in the middle of the night to give me new medicine.” “Ok, I´ll open, but don´t you dare watching only one second without me!” Alec carefully freed himself from Magnus´ body and went to the door, but he wished he had hidden somewhere in a corner when he saw who was standing outside. “What are you doing here?” Raphael hissed and tried to spot Magnus behind him, but the sofa was too far away. “Didn´t I tell you to leave him alone?! What will happen if you meet him again?!” He just pushed alec rudely aside and went looking for him. “Al- oh, hey Raph, what´s the matter?” “Why are you not in bed, why is he here? Does he bother you?” “No, it´s ok, I´m fine.” Magnus answered and tried to sit up in a halfway upright position. “You´re not, and I´ve already told him to go!” “Yes, but that´s not your thing! I want Alec here.” Alec felt a little peek in his heart and smiledwhen he heard him saying this, whereupon Raph gave him a hateful look. “He´s a risk for all of us! He betrays, he lies, probably he has already a plan to arrest us all at on-“ “Shut up! Raphael I love you but please shut the fuck up!” Alec pretended not to listen, but he looked at Magnus with huge eyes, his breathing quickened. “Alec is with me, just how I want it, I can take care of myself, even like this.” Magnus glanced at Alec, who nearly melted. “Alright, why are you here?” Raph looked as if he wanted to punch Alec in the face, but he swallowed his anger down and replied calmly: “Business things, nothing for him.” “Something important?” “We´re popular now, but there are rumors about what we´re doing with this cop. Beside, the new delivery is here, but I can manage that.” “Ok, thank you, another thing, is Simon alright? I haven´t seen him since we´re back.” Raph sighed, but his expressions softened as he thought about his boyfriend. “He doesn´t blame you for anything, he´s doing well, just acting very clingy. It´s a miracle he let me go alone today.” “That´s great, see you this evening, ok?” “Yea, bye.” As soon as the door was closed, Alec was glued to Magnus´ side again. “Wow, he´s a lot softer since he has Simon. But don´t allow him to speak with you like this, ok? You can stay as long as you want to, you know that!” “I do.” Alec smiled and let himself fall on the couch again. “About what delivery did he talk?” “Just…business things.” “Criminal business?” “Well, I have no share company.” Magnus avoided the things he wanted to know and leaned against his arm. “You don´t want to talk about it, right?” “Alexander, there are you and me and there is the business, I know it´s impossible to separate it from us, but at least I want to try, ok?”It wasn´t ok at all for Alec, but he knew he couldn´t change it anyways. “Fine, just, don´t get yourself in danger, stay here.” “I will.”////They were together until the early evening, watching Tv and eating what Alec had cooked for them, Magnus loved it, so he didn´t want to go back after. “I hate this room, how it smells, how it looks like.” He pouted and pulled the blanket closer. “Magnus, it´s your room in your building, you can change it however you want!” Alec chuckled. “Beside you need the tube with the medicine liquid.” “I hate that tube, it makes me feel so sick and dizzy, like I´m giving away the control over my body on purpose. It´s…scary.”“Oh no, hey, it´s not. Just try to sleep ok? Should I wait until you´re asleep?” “Oh god yes please.” Magnus raised an arm to stroke over his face and kissed him softly. It was so special for Alec to receive those touches from him, this sign that Magnus trusted him enough to get this close. He wanted to kiss him back, harder, loving, showing him how much he liked him, but right now this was all he could wish for. “I recognized you feel rougher, you didn´t shave the last days, did you?” Magnus giggled and continued caressing his jawline. “Yea, I had other worries than my beard in the last time. Does it bother you?” “No, I like this lumberjack look, you should start wearing check shirts.” He answered cheeky. “Save that for the bed.” Alec replied in the same tone and joined his laughing. “I will.” “Great. Come now, didn´t you also want to meet Raphael in the evening before going to bed?” “Maybe, but I think he can manage this alone, he knows everything.” “Good, come here.” Alec helped him carefully up, it had already become routine, so familiar were the handles. “It sounds pitiful, but I like when you hold me.” Magnus smiled contently. “It´s not pitiful, I feel honored to hear that, I like it too Magnus, really much.” Alec said softly while letting him down on the mattress. With clenching teeth he connected the tube with the cannula in his arm again and slipped in the bed. “Hey you two, everything alright?” Cat entered the room and checked the infusion. “Yea and it nearly didn´t hurt the whole day.” “Perfect, but let me change the bandage anyways. Do you want to stay Alec?”“You really can.” Magnus quickly added and Alec nodded shyly. “Ok.” ///// And Alec stayed. Gladly he saw how much the wound had healed since the last time he´d been present while Cat took care of it. Nevertheless he felt terrible when she touched Magnus´ stomach and he whimpered. “Shht, it´s ok, it looks really really good. You´ll be able to walk probably within the next week!” “Arghh, I can´t really believe this.” Magnus clawed his fingers in the mattress until he found Alec´s hand and squeezed it instead. It didn´t hurt him, the pills made him weak. “You should, you´ll see. Good night for now you two. And don´t stress him too much Alec, ok?” She winked and left blushing Alec behind.“You´re really ok for now?” Alec asked still concerned and stroked softly over his head. Magnus just leaned into his touches and sighed happily. “I´m fine Alexander, really very fine.” “So the medicine is working?” “No, you´re working.” Magnus giggled clearly muzzy, his eyelids were already fluttering. “Great to hear that.” Alec bent down and placed a kiss on his mumbling lips. “Sleep now, I won´t go.” Of course he waited until he recognized the calm breathing and even a little longer, just to savor the moment. Suddenly it knocked carefully on the door and Simon´s face appeared. “Hey, I´m late, aren´t I?” He smiled contrite and stepped silently closer. “Yea, he fell asleep a few seconds ago. Did Raph send you?” “No, I just wanted to check him myself, but he looks really good.” “Yea, Cat said his recovery is going well.” Alec still held his hand tenderly as if it could break and Lewis noticed. “Err…are you two now…?” “Simon, I have to excuse myself, I treated you so unfair, I had no right to judge your relationship, I´m really sorry.” “Oh it´s ok Alec, I can understand you, but now you can understand me too right?” Simon answered and looked at their hands again. “Yea, but honestly not really. Weren´t you afraid? Not that it would destroy your career, but that…he would get hurt?” “Of course, every time he leaves the building, every time he leaves our rooms, every time he looks at me and then turns around and goes. I was a wreck when he got caught, you saw me. But I think these are the things you endure for love, right?” “Yea…right.” //// “May I ask how you met? At the police station?” Alec didn´t want to leave sleeping Magnus yet, but he also didn´t want to stay with Simon in complete awkward silence. Magnus was deep in dream land anyways, we wouldn´t wake up if the continued whispering. “Oh no not there.” Simon chuckled quietly. “It was actually very random in a café and I asked him out.” “You did the first step? I have to appreciate your boldness, I would have taken a big circle around him.” He giggled. “Hey, it´s my boyfriend you´re talking about. Ok, I know what you mean, but I really have to say he´s a fluffy bunch of fur when we´re alone…and shy.” “Shy? No way.” “Believe me and his hair is fluffy when he washes out the gel.” “Ok too much information.” Alec laughedat Simon´s heart-shaped eyes.“Then don´t let your cutie alone for too long. I´ll stay a little longer.” “Great, and tell him I was here, ok?” “Yea sure. Anything special he should know?” “Well, actually…” Hesitating, Simon showed him his right hand, he wore a small silvery ring on his ring finger. “I-I have a fiancé since a few hours, I think I´m going to marry!” He stuttered and blushed so hard, looking to the ground, whileAlec´s eyes widened in surprise and disbelieve. “Oh god, congrats! That should have been the first thing you´ve told me!” He quickly got up and hugged him, he didn´t care if they barely knew each other for a moment. “Did he propose? Did you expect it?” “God, no, yes he did it, he just fell on his knees and…asked! And I just wanted to tell Magnus and now you´re the first.” He chuckled and stroked over his own face. “Oh wow, I feel very honored! Thank you Simon.” “Everybody will know anyways, just we´ll only tell them tomorrow, ok?” “Yes sure, of course, congratulations again!” Alec was so flashed, he thought he had gotten to know Simon in those weeks they´d worked together, but he was a completely different person in real life. Still friendly and so kind, but full of surprises and – engaged with Raphael! He was already curious how Magnus would react. Full of adoration Alec continued watching over him and softly massaging his hand. It was so warm and smooth and Alec asked himself where the rings on his fingers were from. Former fiancés? He wanted to get to know him better, everything, good and bad things. /////Magnus was indeed also more than overwhelmed when Simon and Raph told him about their incoming marriage and also that they wanted to wait with it until Magnus was completely well again. Since then about one week had passed. Time, Magnus never felt lonely or left alone. Alec came every day, just to be with him, help him, talk to him and share some soft kisses. They had no definition for their relationship yet, but they also didn´t felt like they needed one, they just were together and made each other happy, in a very soft and timid way. Further, Magnus´ conditions stayed good and his recovery went on asplanned, he even started walking short distances on his own or with crutches and moved back to his own floor as soon as he didn´t need the infusion anymore.Even if Alec always looked with worry over his urge to independence. Preferably he would have chained him on his bed, not even in a sexual way, just to make sure he was safe, but Magnus was a free spirit and mind, he hated being caught. Nevertheless Alec tried. “God Magnus stop running around like crazy, please! You´ll hurt yourself!” “Nohoo, I won´t, you´re here to catch me if I fall, beside I have to move or I´ll die! I felt like frozen all the time.” “Oh you´re unbelievable.” Alec hugged him from behind and placed a light kiss on his neck, there where the first whirl was visible under the skin, making him purr.“I´m not, I was stuck into this building for so long now, I wanna go out, have some fun!” “So it´s no fun with me?” Alec asked pouting. “No, you know what I mean, I miss the thrill, it´s just in my nature.” “Unfortunately.” He sighed and let go of his warm body. “Would you sleep in my bed today?” Every time Alec got concerned about Magnus´ behavior and feared he could get bored or rid of him, Magnus did the next step in his direction, giving him another thing to hold on to. “You want me to stay the night? In your apartment?” “In my bed. I thought you like getting cuddled?” “Oh of course I do! Don´t act as if you didn´t already notice!” //// Alec´s head lay on Magnus´ stomach and he hugged him like a big sleeping pillow, he felt as safe in Magnus´ presence as Magnus with him. Together they were watching New York´ lights below them, the blinking sky scrapers and tiny moving cars, it was so peaceful. Alec could understand pretty well why Magnus liked his own bed near the windows much more. Softly he fondled through Alec´s hair. “Magnus?” “Mhh?” “What do we have? I mean between us?” “Don´t you feel good Alexander?” “No, of course I feel good with you.” “Then why do we have to talk about what it is? I´m tired of all this labeling thing.” Magnus whispered. “I-I don´t know, I just feel so unsure about what to tell you sometimes. You´re important to me Magnus. Am I allowed to claim you for myself? Am I allowed to forbid you to get in danger? Do we both just need anything stable against the loneliness or is there…more?” Alec didn´t want to, but he looked up from his belly into his face, whereupon Magnus stopped caressing his head. “I´m sorry to make you think I´m only doing this because of stability. You´re important to me, too Alec!” “No, it´s ok Magnus, you don´t have to confess anything, I just don´t want to have too much hopes if I lose you after.” He smiled weakly and placed a kiss on his chest before he lay down on his stomach again. “You won´t lose me!Don´t even think about it! I didn´t save your life to leave you after! Hey,” He sat up and cupped Alec´s face. “I will stay right here, together with you, ok?”Alec nodded meekly, then got up a little too, bend over him and kissed his lips. Magnus immediately joined in his movements, pressed their bodies more together and playfully bit his lower lip as he wanted to prove that he was totally with him. “Please hold me.” Alec snuggled closer without leaving his mouth with sloppy kisses, he was addicted to his taste. “I don´t want to be alone anymore, all this shit led me to you and that´s where I want to stay.” “I told you to stay as long as you want.” Magnus smiled while kissing softly the skin under his closed eyes, his cheekbone down to his jawline, his neck, shoulders, collarbones, even eliciting him little moans. His lips on Alec´s body felt like getting touched by feathers, he treated him so tenderly, as if he was the hurt one. They didn´t let go of each other anymore, hugging tightly as if their life depended on it. “Magnus, I think I´m falling in love with you.” But Magnus was already deeply asleep.///// Magnus woke up in the most beautiful way, Alec was brushing over his lips and then kissed him. “Ughh, no, I have morning breath.” He pouted and covered his mouth with his hands. “Still the best thing I´ve ever tasted.” “You´re gross!” “Yea maybe.” Alec chuckled. “Well, sadly I´m not, go brush your teeth!” He giggled.“Mood killer!” Didn´t matter how hard Magnus tried, Alec embraced him too tight to free himself, but was still aware of not touching the wound. “I only let you go after one very long kiss.” Alec grinned, but he looked so cute at the same moment, Magnus couldn´t resist. Then Alec followed him into the bathroom and took care of the nearly healed injury. Actually Magnus was of course already strong enough to do it himself, but Cat had shown Alec the exact steps, so he always did it since they were back in his own apartment. Beside Magnus had to admit he liked getting treated so carefully. He just had to stand still and watched Alec cleaning him softly, putting salve and disinfection spray on his waist and then wrapping him in new white bandage. “So…finished, you look very good.” “I don´t know, if I wait longer, my sixpack will completely fade away. Looks at yours, steel hard abs!” Magnus niggled and poked Alec´s stomach, both were just wearing sweat pants. “Oh no, don´t even try it, you´ll eat lots and sleep long and I´d kill you if you catch upwith training too early!” “Kill me?” “With morning kisses.” “Ok I give up.” Magnus chuckled and hugged him. “But I decided to eat breakfast with the others today, so can…can I tell them we´re a couple?”“Of course, but I don´t think they will hate me less then.” “Oh they´re just jealous you get the treasure.” “I really do.” Alec could kiss him forever and ever and ever, this wonderful man on his side, but he didn´t know if he could repeat the words from last night yet. ////As expected, Raph, Meliorn and the others weren´t very content when they showed up together in the meeting room, but they were too happy that Magnus was back.Alec really got the feeling of being part in a big family, not in a criminal organization and it pleased him so much to hold Magnus´ hand under the table. “We should already show presence on the streets again.” Raph said and Alec clenched his teeth and looked quizzically to Simon next to him, but he just shrugged his shoulders. Obviously he´d gotten used to all this. “Yes, but let us relax as long as we can, right now we have the opportunity to wait and lay back.” “Oh you´re soft now Magnus?” The ginger haired girl Alec didn´t know yet chuckled, but Magnus just gave her a look, took his butter knife and threw it against the wall behind her. It got stuck in the wallpaper. “No, I just know when to attack and when to shut up.” Alec starred at him with huge eyes, admiring his glorious, powerful boyfriend. //// “You´re so hot when you let out the badass.” Alec whispered into his ear and blushed immediately. Magnus smiled, turned to him and smooched a kiss on his lips, directly, in front of everyone. That was a statement. Magnus liked clear statements, especially when they let Alec´s cheeks turn from pink to red, so adorable. Simon gave Alec a meaningful look, as if he wanted to say `See, now we´re completely the same.´, but Alec was to perplexed to answer, he bent over his plate and continued eating while a dorky grin appeared on his lips. //// “God, why did you do this, kissing me in front of everyone?” He asked once they were alone again, the color of his face was still the same. “I´ve asked you if it´s ok to let them know!” “Yes, but now everyone thinks…thinks that I´m you bitch.” “My what?!” Magnus couldn´t hold back, he burst out in laughing until his stomach hurt. “OhAlexander, baby, you´re so sweet.” He came to him and wrapped his arms around his neck. “You can´t be offended I want to show everybody!” “But I´m not yo-“ “You´re not my bitch and I would never call you that, understood. You´re my boyfriend.” Magnus let the last word melt on his tongue, making him smile. “Sounds so good. You´re gorgeous Magnus, just wanted to tell you.” Alec answered happily, then also hugged him and kissed softly behind his ear. He wanted to pull back after, but Magnus quickly stopped him by putting his hand on his head. “N-no, please more, feels good.” Alec smiled and continued brushing with his lips over his skin, increasing the pressure, so he ended with a dark lilac spot. It looked delicious on Magnus darker skin, but he was embarrassed. “Ouch, I´m sorry, that´s something teenagers do.” “Oh no, it´s a love mark, it´s something lovers do.”Magnus replied and leaned against his chest. “I love you Alexander.” //// “I love you Alexander.” Alec´s breath faltered, he looked shocked at Magnus leaning against his chest and wanted to reply, but Magnus lay one finger on his lips. “Don´t say anything if you don´t feel the same, it´s ok, we can still have fun! Just d-don´t leave me.”“Oh Mags,” Alec embraced him tightly and fondled through his hair. “I love you too, so much.” He kissed him relieved and overflowing with happiness that Magnus had the same feelings for him. “And you know I won´t ever leave you, stop worrying about it!” Alec whispered. Their foreheads touched, they shared their closeness and their warmth, felt connected through their touches and kisses. “I love you.” Magnus breathed. “None of my lovers ever said those words back. I was so scared, cause my…love was always unreturned and I can´t lose you.” Alec saw how difficult it was for him to open up and how he tried to snuggle more into the hug. “Hey, I´m here, always. You needn´t have loss fears because of me, ok?” “Love you.” “Love you too.” Magnus´ eyes were glassy, but he smiled widely and kissed him passionately. “Can I show you something?” When Alec nodded, he took his hand and pulled him inside the elevator where he pressed a button. “Where are we going?” “It´s a surprise.” “You´re full of surprises. I love it.” Alec turned to him and crushed their lips back together, he didn´t want to stop, he couldn´t anymore. Preferably he would took off all his cloths right there in the lift, his fingers nibbled already at his belt, but Magnus stopped him chuckling. “Hey, hey your surprise.” “You´re everything I want.” “And you´ll get me, later.” The doors slid open and exposed another long corridor. “Later?” “Yes you needy boy.” Magnus giggled and tugged on his shirt. “This way.” He directed him through the floor to a big dark door. “Looks scary.” Alec noticed. “It´s not, close your eyes!” “Are you serious?” “Do it!” Of course Alec obeyed and heard a slight rushing that echoed on the probably bigroom. When Magnus allowed him to look, Alec just formed a silent `wohh´ with his lips. They stood at the edge of a huge pool surrounded by thick white candles and the darkness, in front of them another window wall. It was very impressive and so beautiful, Alec couldn´t imagine something more romantic at this moment. “Oh my god Magnus, it´s amazing!” “You like it? Not too cheesy?” “No, it´s so beautiful, when did you prepare all this? And you, you have a pool in your skyscraper!”Alec beamed while watching the candle light reflecting on the water and squeezing Magnus´ hand. He had expected anything, but not all this! //// “But are you allowed to go swimming?” “Yes, Cat gave me big waterproof plasters and there´s no chlorine in the water.” Alec still couldn´t believe it. “And you´ve planned all this? Our conversation felt so random at first.” “Well, I wanted to confess to you today, but I didn´t know exactly how.” “And you did it in the most perfect way and all this…so overwhelming! Thank you!”“I´m glad you like it. You can undress me now!” Magnus giggled. “I think we have to go in underwear.” Alec bit his kiss swollen lips while he stepped closer and put his hands on Magnus´ shirt collar. Slowly he unbuttoned it, getting rewarded with his bare bronze chest and chocolate colored nipples.Distracted from this view he pulled his own shirt over his head and both stripped down their trousers, so only the boxers were left on their needy bodies.The water was pleasing warm, Alec only noticed how sore his muscles were as they relaxed in the pool. “Wow, if you had told me earlier about this place, I would have spent every day here!” “You can from now on.” Magnus came after him, he looked like the god of all oceansdiving into the water and then sparkling drops ran down his muscular back when he came up again. “Alexander? Are you ok?” Magnus stood in front of him, some of his wet black hair strains covered his forehead.Instead of an answer, Alec stumbled to him to start kissing again, while his hands explored this gorgeous body. He wanted to remember everything, the shape of his abs, the curve of his spine, how his nipples got hard under Alec´s massaging fingers, how Magnus heated up and shuddered in his arms.“Uhmm, oh god, I thought I bring you here for swimming.” Magnus breathed between suppressed moans. “Oh you can swim after, cause I don´t thing you´ll be able to walk.”The rough husky Magnus loved so much was back, actually it had lingered in Alec´s throat the whole time, but now he let it out. “You really think you could do that?” Magnus asked cheeky, just to mock him more, he wanted more of this rough kisses that took his senses and captured his mind. //// Alec´s hand slipped deeper and deeper, down his leg, pulling it up by his knee, so Magnus just wrapped his legs around Alec´s hips and crossed his feet behind his back. Moaning he tugged softly on Alec´s raven hair while kissing him slow and deeply. He´d found his tongue and was now playing with it, circling around, caressing each other without taking care of their sensitive lips. The growing heat in his stomach spread in all nerve ends, god how he´d missed those electric sparks inside of him and the safe feeling that he could let completely go. Sure, Magnus was strong and powerful and knew how to command others around, but at least in a relationship he sometimes wanted to be the one who got dominated. Still in a comfortable way of course, for what Alec was best, felt best. Alec didn´t stop kissing him,while carrying him to the deeper side of the pool, where it was easier for both to hold onto each other. “I love you so much.” Magnus whispered and Alec could see the candle light reflecting in his eyes in the darkness. “I love you too, you´re perfect, perfect for me.” With one hand, he embraced him, the other slipped into Magnus´ boxers, brushing over his erection. “Seems like somebody is already pretty hard.” “And I´m not alone.” Smirking, Magnus tensed his legs, so Alec´s member got pressed against his. “Please Alec, I´ve waited so long, I can´t anymore.” He brushed with his wet fingers over Alec´s cheeks and rubbed his hips against his ones, whereupon Alec grabbed his dick harder. “Shht, you will get everything you want.” Slowly he stroked him with thumb on the head, while Magnus could just look into his eyes and smile distorted. The water waved and curled around them, it had reached their chest by now. Finally Magnus had managed to take off his boxers and felt it everywhere and immediately Alec´s hands followed. He begged to hear the same noises Magnus gave him at their first time, but he also wanted to do him different, not so rushed and with much more passion and care. That was why he prepared him slowly and carefully, step by step, moved and spread his fingers inside of him. “Nghh, fuck, more!” Magnus buried his face panting in his crook of neck and had to hold back not to bite him there to compensate the pleasure.“You´re ok?” Alec asked and pushed more in, trying to reach his sweet spot, whereupon Magnus already felt his climax building up. “Hey, n-no, Alexander I´m close, I don´t want to!” “You don´t want to come?” Alec smirked. “Only with you inside me, please!” “Everything for you.” Magnus winced, didn´t matter how gently Alec removed his fingers, his body immediately missed them. “But, hey, I don´t have condoms.” “It´s ok, I don´t care, just hurry!”Quickly Alec took off his underwear without loosen the grip around Magnus´ waist, it was easy to hold him into the water, beside Magnus didn´t let go of him for only a second. Just like Alec didn´t look at something else than thoseshining golden eyeswhile he softly buried himself inside of his tightness. Tears of happiness and pleasure ran down Magnus´ cheeks, finally he was connected with his Alec in the deepest possible way again. “I love you so much.” A few seconds they just stood still and kissed sloppily until Magnus had gotten used too Alec, he was still pretty big after all. Then Alec moved with forceful trusts, giving his love what he desired and honestly, Alec didn´t feel different. He was more than overly happy that he knew the cute cuddly side of Magnus, but his boyfriend was also pure sex on legs and his sinful moans a melody in Alec´s ears. Now Magnus couldn´t stop himself anymore, he sucked on Alec´s neck leaving lovebites all over the skin, while he arched his back to take everything of him. “Oh yes, harder!”Of course Alec obeyed and within a few moments, he got to see Magnus´ pleasured orgasm face, before he collapsed and let Alec fill him up. His weak shaking legs slipped from his hipsand both just leaned against each other, trying to catch their breaths, their huffing echoed in the room. “Holy, I didn´t expect there could be something better than the thing in the cell, but I was wrong.” Magnus whispered once he was able to say proper words again. “Yea, and maybe we even make it to a bed next time.” Alec chuckled and kissed his wet head. //// Because Magnus hadn´t stopped mocking Alec by tingling him with his wet hair, he´d carried the hairdryer from the bathroom and was now drying Magnus´ head in the middle of the night on his bed. Magnus couldn´t stop giggling about that fact, but he also enjoyed Alec´s tender brushing and fondling so much. To be honest, Magnus had been a little concerned about what usually happened after sex, because he just didn´t know it. Either he´d gotten left alone or his `date´ had just turned around and fallen asleep. He didn´t expect that Alec would cuddle him while whispering sweet nothings to each other, waiting until Magnus had relaxed a little again and then even helping him cleaning under a hot steamy shower. He didn´t ever think of somebody that knew every part of his body by now and treasured him like the most precious diamond in the world. “So, you´re dry and fluffy and warm.” Alec´s uncoordinated drying had given his hair a comic shape, he looked like a dark-headed smurf. “Thanks love.” Magnus climbed on his lap and gave him feather light kisses. “I really mean it, I wish there was a way I could show you how much you mean to me, if you want anything material, just say it!” “Oh you spoil me enough with your love Mags.” Alec leaned back into the pillows and pulled Magnus with him down. “How rich are you actually, Mr. I-have-a-pool-in-my-skyscraper?” “A the moment rich enough I think. I always just try to cover my expenses and the ones of my family, but I don´t want to discuss it. That´s the life I´ve chosen.” “Oh no no baby, I didn´t mean to criticize, I´m just curious.” Alec drew circles with his fingers on his chest. “I want to know everything about you and what you do, I´m ok with it, I would never judge you.” “Well, you know, I´ve robbed banks, accounts from rich people, who won´t miss their money. We´re fast and invisible, that offends other gangs, it´s difficult to find new hides, so this building is a gold treasure. I also have a club, but it developed to a drug hell, so I lost interest, but I think it still exists.” “You don´t know if your clubs still exists? Do you remember its name?” Alec chuckled. “Pandemonium. It sounds demonic right? We can visit it.” “I´d rather not.” “Oh come on, it´s nice and I´m there to protect you.” Magnus nuzzled and closed his eyes, he´d been already sleepy since their session. “Anything else I should know?” “Mhhh…there is a gun under the bed, just in case.” “What?” “Good night Alexander, love you.” Magnus snuggled up to him and decided to fell asleep on his warm body, just like Alec liked it. Magnus was not this cold criminal, he was his soft cuddly boyfriend, the man he loved with every piece of his heart. “I´ll protect you Magnus, every time you can´t.” Alec whispered while embracing him so tightly, they melted into each other during their peaceful sleep.//// Somehow Alec up with a bunch of Magnus´ hair in his face, but he couldn´t care less, quite the difference, he inhaled deeply. “Is this your kink? Sniffing me?” Magnus mumbled and turned around to him, he had this cheeky grin the second he woke up and it usually lasted the whole day. “You´re my kink.” “Oh you´re so cheesy, I´m drowning in your sweetness.” Magnus licked over Alec´s nose before he placed a kiss on the tip. “Sure, I´m the cheesy one.” Alec chuckled and pulled Magnus´ body on top of his own one, so he could look him into the face the whole time. “How´s your delicious ass doing love?” “Aching a little, but it´s the good pain, you know? And you were really gentle with it.” “Yea, I try to worship the things I love, especially when they love me back.” “My ass loves you so much.” Magnus giggled. “So much that it wants to go for a second round, wait no, it would be the fourth, right? Or fifth?” “I don´t know, but I don´t care either.” Alec growled husky, quickly switched positions, so he was on top and not even an hour later both laid happily next to each other, huffing but dorky smiling. “What you did there at last,” “Bad?” “Noo! So damn good!” “Yea, I heard it.” Alec stroked a strand of hair from his sweaty forehead. The forehead of this naked god-like man. “But Alexander, I want to go out today.” “No, you´re still injured and you can get attacked again!” “If I can have wild sex with you, I also can walk around outside again.” “You would be able to, but your face was on every TV screen, if only on person in New York recognizes you, you´ll have to run for your life and you can´t!” Alec had such a concerned expression on his face again and took Magnus´ hand. “I promised not to leave you unquestioning, not only because you wanted it, but because I´d never be happy without you again. I, I, if I lose you-“ “Hey, hey, Alexander, shht, everything is alright! Come here.” Magnus pressed Alec´s head against his chest to let his steady heartbeat calm him down. “It´s already been three months and people are ignorant, they´ll pass me without even looking at my face twice.Beside, I thought you´ll get slowly used to my way of living.” “I try…but it´s hard.” //// “I understand you Baby, but it´s your life now, too. And you don´t want to hide forever in this building, do you?” Magnus whispered softly and kissed his forehead. “No, but I´m afraid here in New York, this city is cursed, I lost my family here, you nearly died, I don´t want to wait until something worse happens.” “Wait, you, you´ve never talked about your family with me before.” “You didn´t talk about yours either. Everybody tries to forget the painful memories I guess.”Alec answered. “Of course you don´t have to, but would you tell me? I would tell you everything too.”Magnus replied, while kissing him again and again, tenderly, but showing him even more how deep his feelings for him were. “I will, because I love you, you´re the most important human being of the world for me, but it´s not that special. My parents, my little brother and my sister died in a car accident when I was sixteen. Not intended, I didn´t become a cop to avenge them or something.” “Oh my, I´m so sorry for you, I had no idea.” Magnus´ eyes were glassy, only now he really realized how much he´d tortured his Alexander. “Not your fault love. You have brightened my life so much.I´ve never expected I could lay happily in the arms of the man I love, that I could have a family sometimeagain.” Magnus didn´t know what to answer, no words could describe what he felt, he just tried to embrace him more and to connect their bodies and souls in every possible way. “You mean everything to me Alexander.” Alec cupped his face smiling weakly and caressed his lips with his ones until Magnus looked down a little and then took a heavy breath, before he started. “I was born here, into the edge of society. My mother, she was poor and maybe addicted to drugs, I don´t know because she was not often with me anyways. My father was a stranger she only knew for a few hours in which he raped her. She showed me my whole life that I was nothing but the painful memory of him. I wanted to prove that I was better than her expectations, that I could have my own family and care for people.” It was the very first time Magnus had ever told anyone, not even Raphael or Cat knew about it. Right now, he even regretted telling Alec a little bit, cause he just looked shocked and filled with consternation at him. Secretly Alec was remembering how he´d judged Magnus for his life the first times they´d met, he felt like the worst man ever. “I wish I could do something.” “Just love me like you do. Having you and the others is the reward for all this shit.”Alec smiled again at his precious boyfriend and softly kissed Magnus´ ear beside him. The piercings there had turned it into a really sensitive spot, so Magnus hummed pleased when he felt Alec´s lips there.“Let´s sleep for another few hours, we can still go out for the rest of our life.” Alec looked up into his golden, loving eyes and smiled content. “Yea, great.” It was simple, but they didn´t need to say more to each other, just hugged under the blanket and spent love. The hurt in their past connected them, they both knew how to suffer, together they learned now how to feel completely secure and perfectly loved.///// “Hey dangerous man, maybe we can really get up now. Your growling belly is hindering me from sleeping anyways.” Alec kissed down his spine, sending shivers through Magnus´ body. “Baby…come…” Magnus grumbled something incomprehensible, turned around and wrapped his arms around Alec´s waist. “You were the one who wanted to stay in bed, now I´m tired again, too.” “Ok I´m sorry, should I go and bring you some coffee?” “No, don´t leave me alone, I´ll come!” Magnus got up, stumbled around until he´d found some sweatpants and his sleeping gown, then he left holding hands with Alec. They sat down on the counter in the community kitchen, where Simon was cooking something. “Hey fiancé, what´s on the menu today? Breakfast?” Magnus was cheering. “Wow, love makes you soo funny.” Simon giggled and came to them. “And it´s lunchtime already!” “But you have still some omelets, right?” Magnus made his puppy eyes and told Alec: “Simon´s food feels like chewing pieces of heaven.” “Oh you crawler….bacon´s also left.” Simon gave in. Magnus and Alec spent the waiting time with kissing and talking about anything but leaving the house. For Magnus it was ok to move the topic far away, as long as his Alexander wasn´t sad anymore. “Hey, what´s with you, taking advantage of my man?” Raphael showed up and kissed Simon´s head from behind, whereupon his fiancé gave him a loving look. “It´s great you both are here, I wanted to ask you about your wedding date! If you only waited because of me, I´m totally fine again!” Alec hold back his objection. “Well,” Raph took place next to them. “We decided to marry right here in the building and spend honeymoon in Europe, but just a very little celebration, since our family´s won´t attend.” Obviously family was delicate thing between Magnus´ friends. “Oh you´ll get the perfect wedding, I promise!” Magnus´ cheeks had a light peachy tone, so Alec could tell how excited he was about it. This whole thing made him of course also thinking about his own marriage. Their own marriage? Maybe it was way too early to think about it. And this city was no place to built a home at, to raise children and have a real family. Alec couldn´t get perfectly happy here, but at the moment he nearly was. //// Alec came soaking wet out of the water and lay down on a lounger next to Magnus. They really did spent lots of their time at the pool hall, but Magnus didn´t join him at swimming every time, because he was sure it made his skin too dry and he didn´t want to get wrinkles. Alec could just shake his head, this was a thing the great Magnus Bane was afraid of, getting older. Beside, he really wanted to spread lotion for dry skin all over his caramel body. “I want to go out today Alexander.” Magnus said and continued speaking before Alec could protest. “Nothing serious, no bad places, just shopping! I can´t wear the Armani suits from last season at the Saphael wedding and you only have sweaters!” Magnus was really proud of the name he invented for Simon and Raphael, but Alec was already afraid of the moment Raph would find out and give them a name, too. Alec clenched his jaw, but he was right. Magnus and Simon were planning behind locked doors nearly every day and even if the wedding would only take place inside the building, it would be huge and glorious. “You have a safe way to go shopping?” “Yes, of course, many designers own me money I borrowed them for their first fashion lines, in return we can get everything we want super exclusive and safe!” “Wow you really have a special way to invest money.” “But you allow it? We´ll go?” Magnus sat up and looked hopefully begging at him. “Sure, my love has to look amazing after all, right?” Magnus squeaked happily and threw himself in his arms. “And I will put makeup on you too.” He grinned. //// Alec got convinced that this lift was magical by now. Every time he needed something, Magnus knew a button in the elevator for it, right now it was weapons, because Magnus was not dumb, he didn´t even go shopping unprepared. Whole walls covered with weapon shelves, everything lightened up in a gloomy blue and Alec´s heart jumped a little higher. He was no gun freak, but if he had to protect his love, this all would definitely help him. Well, first he was watching Magnus putting on a holster tightly around his hips, imagining how it would look without the trousers, black straps tensing over his muscles…”Alexander!” Magnus shouted from the other side of the hall. “I know exactly what you´re thinking, stop starring so hungry and come!” Caught, Alec started moving towards the shelves and chose some weapons, normal guns and a small knife he could easily hide. “Er…is that a flamethrower over there?” “Haha, yea, that was a crazy night, but I´ll tell you another time.” Magnus giggled, straightened the collar of his nearly floor-length coat and came to him. “Ready?” “Ready if you are.” Alec answered and took him into his arms, feeling the silhouettes of the pistols. He didn´t like it, but he knew, they would use it just in case. As a former cop he knew how unlikely it was that they got recognized after such a long time hiding, but the fear would never disappear. “I love you so much Baby.” “You know I love you more.” Magnus grinned and kissed him deeply. “Let´s go.” ///// Alec had seen his boyfriend smiling a lot since they were together, but when they left the expensive pent house shop with more than a dozen bags, Magnus was shining like a cinnamon bun. Well, after all it had taken nearly the whole day to satisfy him like this and Alec´s belly was already growling for a few hours, but this happy face was definitely worth it. “Alexander thank you for enduring me this long! I know I can be a pain in the ass when it comes to cloths.” “What? It´s already over? What a pity, I thought we still have a few boutiques left.” Alec chuckled and gave him a kiss. “But seriously, with you, everything´s great.” “And you look really gorgeous in your things.” Alec tried not to lose his balance when he had to hold Magnus together with all their purchases to kiss him properly. “Ok, let´s bring those to the car and then find a nice restaurant for us.” Alec nodded. The chance to have a real romantic first dinner date with Magnus outdid the fear. His heart beat as fast as the second he´d seen him for the first time when their hands intertwined while they were strolling down the streets. “We should do that more often, don´t you think?” “Yea, it´s actually really calming.” Alec admitted. “What´s about this one?” He´s stopped in front of a little Italian restaurant. “Looks cute and I´d love to have pasta right now.” They spent a beautiful evening there, at a round table with red white checkered tablecloth, slim candles and slight background music. It was so liberating to spend completely normal couple time together, talking about god and the world and even making really cheesy moves like sharing one dessert. “According to me, every day could just be like this.” Alec muttered, once they were safely back in their bed in the building. “Wouldn´t that be boring? Without a real thing to do?” Magnus asked, roaming his hands through his hair. “We can do whatever we want, found an organization or doing something charitable with all the money you have.” “And you think the government will forgive me then?” “No…I mean not here in the US, just anywhere else where nobody wants to kill you.” “You really want to leave, don´t you? You´re not joking around.” Magnus leaned his head on his elbow and looked at Alec. He sighed. “I don´t want to be a cop anymore, but also not a criminal. And as long as I´m, as we´re here, we can´t have a normal life. I want a future with you, I want to plan the following years together with you, but here in New York we can only live from day to day.” “But family is here and, but,…please stay with me.” Magnus whispered and buried his face in his crook of neck, he felt so guilty for dragging Alec into this life. “It´s ok Magnus, I´ll always be by your side, I love you, I´m happy.” Alec hugged him tightly and pressed his lips on his naked shoulder. ////The wedding morning was the first morning Alec woke up alone, but Magnus had warned him the day before. He would finish the last organization steps and help Simon and Raphael alternately with their clothing, but of course Alec´s suit was already prepared on a hanger and decorated with a love note. Magnus really was a fairy with magical skills, but nevertheless Alec decided to help him, so he quickly put on his things and then started to search for him. The building was calmer than he´d expected, but the voices got louder the closer he got to the rooms of the nearly wedded fiancés. Carefully he entered Simon´s room and saw Magnus on his knees fixing the suit and a totally drained Simon sniffing in a tissue. “Uhm, good morning…?” He´d stopped in the door frame and rubbed his back of neck bashfully. “Good morning love, please come in or stay out, but close the door, Raph could see him!” “Oh sure, sure.” Alec came in and sat down watching them. “Do you need something to eat or drink? Did you already have breakfast?” He asked then, trying to be helpfully, too. “That´s very nice, but I can´t eat anything, my stomach is driving carousel since I woke up.” Simon smiled weakly. “I know, it won´t change much, we´ll living the same life, but…but it will also be different. We´ll have this bound forever and our vows, oh my god, I can´t read my vow without crying!” Simon hid his face in his hands. “Oh you will, cause I have so much work with covering your puffy eyes with makeup and you won´t destroy it!” Magnus replied reproachfully and got up. “Take you nearly hubby as an example, he´s no puddle of tears!” “Yes, because he´s perfect and wonderful and-“ “And you´ll tell him in half an hour, relax.” Magnus patted his shoulder and stuck a little bouquet on the lapel of his suit. “So, you´re ready, take a little time to calm down while we look after Raphael.” He took Alec´s hands and pulled him to the door while whispering: “Let´s give him a moment.” “Wow, you´re acting as if you´ve already done something like this before.” Alec smiled and caught up his morning kiss. “Oh I haven´t, but I definitely want to do it again one time, just at my own big day.” Before Alec could answer something, Magnus was already with Raphael.//// Magnus´ big day. Alec clearly could imagine that, how Magnus made everybody want to be the other person next to him in the church with only one of his winks. But they won´t hold his hand to put the ring on it. Alec would? `God, stop this, it´s way too early!´ He disciplined himself after he´d starred at Magnus the whole time, deeply in his thoughts about him in a wedding suit. His boyfriend had finished his last hand grips on Raphael and now the three were entering the wedding room where all the others waited. Actually it was just the community room with its usual cozy atmosphere and the floor-length windows, but now over and over decorated with lilac and white flowers and even a little arch covered in roses. Alec had no idea how, but there was even an old man in priest cloths standing behind it, waiting for Raph to take his place next to him. “The reverend is an old friend of mine.” Magnus whispered once they sat down. “You have crazy friends.” Alec answered, before the silent music started playing. Everybody turned around and Magnus grabbed Alec´s hand in excitement when the door opened again and Simon walked down the aisle. His steps were maybe a little too fast and his hand shivering, but he´d managed to stop crying and was shining from the inside. Opposed, now Alec couldn´t hold back anymore, teary streams ran down his cheeks as he took Simon´s hands and told him how stunning he looked like. The priest followed the normal ceremony until it came to their personal vows, Simon started with a deep breath. “Raphael, before I met you, I was lost. I didn´t know where to go, where to fit in, even who I really was. You showed me all those things. You gave me your strength to protect me, your embraces to comfort me and your love to complete me. I would do everything for you, I love you with every part of my heart, I couldn´t wait to become yours from the first time I saw you.” It was clearly visible how hard Raphael had to calm done to also speak the words he´d prepared. “Simon. I love everything about you, but mostly your heart. It´s huge enough to let me in and to accept me how I am. Blind acceptation, blind love from a man like you, that’s more than I could ever ask for and I´ll try to deserve it all our life.” Needless to mention that both their answers for the question of all questions were a clear `yes´ and that they couldn´t wait to fall in each others´ arms and kiss for the first time as husband and husband. //// “Hey, what are you doing here outside?” Finally Magnus had found Alec on the balcony where he was starring in the night. After the wedding ceremony, the long lasting party had started and even now, after Simon and Raphael had already left with cheerful farewell for their honeymoon, people were still dancing and drinking inside. Maybe it had become a little bit too much for him, he just needed a little time out. “Just catching some fresh air.” Alec answered and turned to Magnus, who lent next to him at the stone railing and raised a glass of champagne to him. “Well, you forgot your drink and it was too expensive to let it get warm.” “Thank you.” Magnus joined his starring for a while, he seemed deep in his thoughts. “Mags, are you ok?” “Yea, it´s just…my babies are growing up and leaving their nest and are happy with each other and that makes me happy too, but also melancholic. You know, you can´t really relate, you weren´t there when I picked Raph up and helped him coming back to life and went through so many things with him. And then I sensed he got happier with every day, for weeks, months, until he had enough courage to tell me about Simon and when I met Simon for the first time I knew immediately that they would stick together forever. We aren´t that much apart in age, but nevertheless they were my little babies.” Magnus sighed and lowered his gaze on the street 200 meters below them. “But they will stay your babies, they will come back and continue loving you and all the others need you too.” “It won´t stay the same.” Magnus answered and poured his drink down his throat with one sip. And it was no light sparkling champagne like in Alec´s glass. “You shouldn´t drink so much.” Alec put an arm around his hips, took the glass away from him and placed it on the railing. “Never mind, that was just one among many.” He simpered and nudged the glass until it lost its balance and feel down all the distance to shatter in thousand pieces on the street. Magnus made no move he didn´t even look down, but Alec could see how he was thinking about something important. “Hey, come baby, let´s go to our rooms, you don´t look really well right now.” “Be quiet, I always look amazing!” “Of course you do.” Loving, Alec supported his tottering boyfriend on their way back to the balcony door, but he stopped before they could get inside again. “I want more babies.” He whispered and cupped Alec´s face while starring at him with a (love-) drunken gaze. “Many more. With cute little baby hands and fingers and feet and baby toes and those big round eyes. Can you imagine?” “I can.” Alec answered chuckling what wasn´t easy, because Magnus was squeezing his cheeks. Listening to this bloody honest boozed cinnamon bun, was definitely one of Alec´s new favorite things. “Great. But we have to plan this, we´ll need a bigger skyscraper for all the babies.” “We will, tomorrow, just please come to bed with me now.”///// “Alexander…where am I?” Activated by Magnus´ pitiful voice, Alec turned around and snuggled up to him. “In our bed, love, you were pretty drunk after the wedding.” “Oh shit…all my make up…” “Don´t worry, I took it off, as much as I could.” “You…you did? Do you know where my things for it are?” Magnus looked surprisingly confused. “Mags, we´re living in the same few rooms, we´re using the same bathroom and I´m not that ignorant, of course I know where those fluffy remover thingies are!” Alec answered proudly. “And you were humming so pleased while I did it, really cute.” Magnus indeed blushed at Alec´s loving words and tilted back into bed next to him. “I hope I´ll be sober next time, so I can remember.” He smiled dreamy and wrapped an arm around him. “Magnus…you are ok, aren´t you?” He fondled through his hair. “Of course I am, why not?” “You…how should I say, you acted strange yesterday. The alcohol didn´t really let you show it, but you seemed truly depressed because of Raphael and Simon leaving.” A little silence followed after Alec´s confession. “Did the others notice?” “N-no, I don´t think so, but that shouldn´t be your first concern! Hey, talk to me, what´s worrying you so much?” Alec had intertwined their legs and was placing soft kisses on his cheeks up to under his eyes. “I…it´s just, I´m afraid they won´t come back once they had the unproblematic life outside New York. It all happened so fast, I know them for an eternity and a second, actually my whole life feels like this. So unstable and rushed. Sometimes I´m exhausted like an old man and then I can´t breathe anymore and everything´s too much at once.” Alec could understand him so well. The last half year had been a rollercoaster for him, unthinkable how he would feel if his whole life looked like this. “Since you´re with me, I finally have something to hold on and it´s so new, yet so wonderful.” Magnus leaned into every touch, clinging onto Alec. “I love you baby, all I care about is how you feel, but you have to talk to me if something´s wrong.” Alec replied and just continued caressing his boyfriend. He´d decided not to mention Magnus´ wish for more children, since he already was emotionally vulnerable and Alec didn´t want to stress or expose him even more. //// Time passed and of course Raphael and Simon came back after their honeymoon, the tower and Magnus were their home. Magnus was overly happy and also relieved, even if he didn´t show it, and spent a lot of time with the just married couple. He didn´t neglect Alec though, his boyfriend understood that he needed a little calm time with his friends anyways. Alec had let the baby topic rest so far. It just never was the right moment for asking about the things Magnus had said drunken, it felt as if he´d heard words and desires that weren´t meant for him. On the other hand, probably it just had been an alcohol joke and Magnus would laugh when Alec mentioned it so seriously. Then it would feel even more embarrassing. There was not less love between them, Alec was just a little more cautious around him and thought twice before talking. That didn´t feel very right, but he didn´t want to let Magnus recognize that he wasn´t happy with their current living situation. He could survive and he had the love of his life, he shouldn´t bother Magnus with some extra wishes or drag him into any family-child system he probably never wanted. His man´s past had been hard enough, now Alec had to be caring and supportive for him, not niggling. Furthermore he really liked relaxing all by himself, think about everything imaginable and he even started watching TV again, after the Vipers had slowly faded away from the media. “…long time, finally a new sign from Magnus Bane, infamous leader of the Vipers, a highly dangerous criminal gang, apparently still based in New York. It´s also likely that he´s still with Alexander Lightwood, former police officer and now also a Vipers member, since the new security camera photos came from his flat. Some pics flickered over the TV screen. Magnus, dressed in a dark lilac floor-length coat, resembling a fancy shadow, how he walked down the corridor in front of Alec´s old apartment, crashing the door, entering and coming out with a filled bag. On his way back, he was winking with his gun and gave an imperious smirk to the camera, directly looking at everybody who would watch him later. Beautiful dumb man, delivering himself to the police while taking Alec´s breath only with a searching photo. He´d told Alec he would be with Simon, or at least Alec had assumed so, but instead he played with his life and scared Alec to death. What the hell had he done there? ///// First thing Alec did, was running to the community rooms, hoping to find anybody who could give him information, but there was only Meliorn. Maybe the last one who still had a cold attitude in front of Alec, even more than Raphael. “Hey, do you know where Magnus is? Did you see him in the news?” He asked breathless, fear in his voice. “Isn´t he your boyfriend? Shouldn´t you look after him?” “You can insult me later, it´s important, he was on security cameras!” “Well, you should get used to it, things like this were normal before you came and messed everything up. Magnus comes and goes, mocks the police, takes risks, you couldn´t change anything.” “But-“ “You´re so ridiculously clingy, if Magnus loves something, than it´s his freedom. Don´t be so stupid and try to take this away from him.” He cut him off and let him alone. Meliorn was wrong, right? Magnus had changed, he didn´t just give a fuck about anything anymore, he knew how much Alec needed him, right? Didn´t Alec show him how much he loved him? Or did he crush him too much with it? Had Magnus even felt locked up with him? His worry about Magnus´ well-being had turned into fear Alec could have scared him away. Preferably he would have grabbed any weapon and gone out searching him in the whole city, but instead he just stood motionless in the hall and felt how he slowly started trembling. Only the ringing of the arriving lift let him turn around. Magnus stood in the elevator as if nothing had happened, but his light smile faded the second he saw Alec, totally destroyed and looking as if he was facing a ghost. “Alexander?” He asked carefully and put his heavy bag on the floor. “Is it my fault? Am I boring you? Are you missing your old life without me being too scared and hindering?” Alec looked like a distraught puppy, forgotten outside in a thunderstorm. “What, hey, no, of course not!” Magnus answered and came to him, but Alec took a step back. “You left the building without telling me, I saw you at the news! You didn´t even tell me you would visit my old flat! You, you´re hurting me.” He just burst out and felt bad for reproaching him at the same moment. Criticizing the on the loved, just didn´t feel right, since every part of Magnus was always perfect to him. “I´m sorry Alec, I didn´t want you to find it out by yourself. Actually it should be a surprise.” “Surprise?” Alec was confused but let Magnus pull him into a hug. “Yes a surprise for you, since I love you so much. Can I show you something?” //// Magnus held his hand as they entered the elevator together, but then hugged Alec again. “I´m sorry, ok? I didn´t mean to scare you, I didn´t mean to step on your feelings again, I´m stupid.” “No…just don´t disappear without telling me! And why were you in my flat?” “Well, I´ll show you.” Magnus brought him into a small room, filled with boxes with police file numbers and also a few cases he remembered from his home. “One week ago, the last cops gave up on observing your apartment, so I finally could take the last things. I…I know you don´t feel like home here and that you want to start new somewhere else, but I don´t think that you should forget everything about your past. The police had so many pictures and personal things from you, so, lately we stole everything back and I also collected your stuff from your flat. Those are your belongings, you should have them. And you will need them.” “Need them?” “Yea, I´m sure those are valuable memories when we leave and live somewhere else on this planet.” “What, what are you talking about?” Alec was somehow happy and confused and so overwhelmed. “I´m ready Alexander, I want to build a new home with you, a new life, a family and you are right, New York is not the right place for it.” “But, what is with your family here?” “They are adults, they have their own life and we can still meet from time to time. I want more, I want those little baby feet, remember?” Magnus eyes got glassy while he was talking about having kids with Alexander and he looked away, not to show how vulnerable he was. “And I want all those things with you.” He really started crying into Alec´s shoulder. “Everything is ready, we can go tomorrow, but also in a year and say good bye to everyone first and visit the graves of your family, we-“ His voice turned over, tripped and broke, nevertheless Magnus continued: “It doesn´t have to be right now and maybe this is totally overhasty, I just want you to know, I´m ready for you.” “Oh Mags,” Alec kissed his wet face, lips, tried to comfort him, even if he was close to tear, too. “I hope I didn´t push you in any direction you don´t want, you shouldn´t have to prove anything to me.” “Oh I didn´t feel so. I´ve never felt pressured with you at any time, just…loved.” Emotions changed so fast, Magnus was smiling and chuckling and hugging him tightly, Alec whispered: “We should plan this, really clearly, not rushed, we have to be prepared for our little way out, ok?” Magnus nodded. “I love you so much.”//// “What about something in Asia, it´s beautiful there.” “Yea maybe…but even if I look like, I can´t speak a word Indonesian.” “And it would be difficult if we can´t talk to our adopted kids…or when we can´t teach them the language of their own country if they´re still babies.” Alec replied and kissed his boyfriend next to him on the bed, who had the laptop on his lap. “You´re really talking about babies Alexander.” “Of course I am. That doesn´t mean we have to be Daddies the second we arrive there, but we should plan with a look into the future, right?” Magnus nodded smiling, put the notebook aside and cuddled up to Alec. “Maybe traveling around is also a good thing at first, just trying different places before we decide where to stay.” “Sounds even greater.” Alec continued kissing Magnus´ lips, softly pulling onto them with his teeth. Deep kisses, just intertwining their fingers and enjoying each other´s presence, overly blessed that they´d found the other part of their soul in this huge, troublesome universe. “Magnus, I, err…” “What is it? Just spill it.” “I, you…have you ever thought about marrying somebody…maybe, marrying…me?” Startled as if struck by a lightning, Magnus sat up and looked at him in shock. “Alexander Gideon Lightwood, are you proposing right now?!” “I, no, I mean yes, I´m sorry, please don´t answer. You talked about your wedding day once and I imagined you in wedding cloths and I realized I don´t want anybody else than me to stand next to you, to marry you. If you want a marriage, then please become my husband sometime.” “Oh my god Alexander, of course, of course!” Magnus squeaked excitedly and fell into his arms. “I can´t imagine a future with anybody else than you, let´s become travelers and husbands and Dads and old together!” He muttered and got lost in the dark eyes of his lover. “Oh look where we are right now, I can´t believe it.” “And the best is only about to come.” //// ~ three years later ~ “Magnus, are you ready?” “Yes, love, just a second.” Magnus shouted back and lifted their nearly-toddler up. “Hey my sweetheart, are you also ready?” Their son cheered something in his baby language and grabbed Magnus´ necklaces while his Papa brought him to the car. Alec already waited in their gateway and smiled immediately when he saw the most important men in his life. It was just too cute when Magnus tried to stop Maxie from chewing his expensive jewelry and their son just chuckled more and more. “I think he´s excited.” Alec suggested while kissing first Maxie, then his husband. “Oh I can relate, I´m even more nervous than the first time I think.” Magnus took a shaking breath, but Alec took both into his arms. “Oh don´t worry baby, it was already love at first sight with Maxie, everything will be alright.” He really liked remembering the day their first son made their family complete. How anxious Magnus had been that their new son could hate them or that there was a problem with their perfectly faked papers only one year ago. Officially Matthew and Harry Smith, living near London for about two years now, both rich business men from New York. It had been easier to build a new identity than Alec had expected. Magnus knew people for those passport jobs and had also friends in England, so they could handle the change pretty well. Sure, the farewell had been hard and tearful, but especially since their little sunshine was with them, both couldn´t be happier, well, nearly. A few months ago, Simon and Raphael had visit them with their baby twin girls, Maxie had been so content with their company and since then, their wish was completely settled, their wish to adopt a brother for him. With a little money, everything was already ready, so today they drove to the children´s home to take home their second child – if the boy wanted. Magnus placed Maxie in his seat, next to the other, empty seat, and took place next to Alexander. They were calling each other by their real names at home. “This will be wonderful, ok?” Alec caressed Magnus´ cheek and started the car. //// They had expected everything, but not this. At the beginning Maxie got shy as always in unusual surroundings, he moved uneasy on Alec´s lap, but when one of the housemasters brought little Raphael to them, he acted immediately super clingy. He stumbled to Raphael on his toddler feet and hugged the boy so tightly, Magnus already wanted to hold him back, not to scare Raphael away. But even to the surprise of the woman from the children´s home, the a little older, black haired orphan patted Maxie´s light brown curls and mumbled something to him. After their greeting, they two kids went to the toys in one corner while Magnus and Alec discussed the documents. “Well, since the whole thing turned out like this, I think there is not much more to say. If you two still want, you can take Raphael home with you today.” “Of course we want.” Both beamed and signed the last documents, then Alec kneeled down next to the just united brothers. “So Raphy, what do you say, do you want to come with Maxie and us?” The boy seemed unsure, but Maxie took his pudgy hand and smiled. “Daddy!” “Yes, Maxie is right, I´m his Daddy and this beautiful man over there is his Papa, we´re a family, you know? Do you also want to be a part of our family? Maxie´s big brother?” Now Raphael seemed to understand, because he suddenly smiled and raised his other hand to Alec, who took it carefully and leaded to two boys to Magnus. “Hey little man, welcome in our family.” Maybe it was because Raphael hadn´t ever seen a man with dark eye-shadow, but he got more cautious again, until Maxie cuddled up to his Papa and showed him that there was nothing scary about him at all. //// Due to the age, Maxie was the little brother, but acted very protective of Raphael during the first days and weeks. He showed him around the house and garden, let him sleep next to him until Raph was comfortable with staying in his own room at night, and invited him to cuddle with their parents in their big bed. Baby feet were always running around together. Magnus and Alec would figure out together if and how they explained their past to their children when they grew older, for now, their old life with photos, documents and even some weapons were locked in boxes in their basement and it was ok. They could arrive together, they had each other, their wonderful babies and more love than they´d ever hoped for. ///THE END


End file.
